Saturday, September 15, 2007

Fat, Drunk and BRITNEY is No Way to Live!

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I wonder what America's sweetheart, Britney Jean Spears, is doing nearly one week after fleeing the scene of her Las Vegas tribute to sloth. Apparently her pathetic impression of an overweight, drunken and unrehearsed musical performer/dancer was so visually nauseating, even Vegas didn't want it staying in Vegas. Now that it's almost safe to turn on our televisions again, let's review what took place on that stage last week in the hopes of insuring it never ever happens again.

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First off, this is 2007. The law seems to now state that No American is in any way personally responsible for his or her own actions. That is, unless of course, it's something good. When that turns out to be the case, virtually every citizen from sea to shining sea will risk permanent elbow damage, so they can pat themselves on the back. So if you're willing to accept and understand that premise, the embarrassing and unprofessional performance that horrified people everywhere last week was NOT Britney's fault. It was somebody else's fault. Let's therefore take a few minutes to determine if we can figure out who that somebody else might be.

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Let's start with the most obvious suspect, MTV. Even noted social commentator Kanye West, the 30 year old rap impresario feels "The Princess of Pop" was exploited by MTV. West claimed "Man, they were just trying to get ratings, and they knew she wasn't ready and they exploited her." He then went on to add that he felt MTV made a "bad move" by having the troubled pop star open the event in Las Vegas. West said that he felt HE should have kicked off the show. Certainly nothing self-serving there. Next we have Simon Cowell. He has witnessed as many dreadful musical acts as anybody on the planet. That more than qualifies Simon to "weigh in" with his assignment of blame. Cowell says that "Britney needs to go home to her mother, lock the door, eat some normal food and not to go out with her stupid friends." Spears is nearly 26 years of age, the mother of two small children, an ex-wife and multi-millionaire. So, according to Cowell, she's incapable of functioning without her mommy, nutritious snacks and a full time staffer to screen potential friends.

Many other self appointed experts have been all over cable news and so called entertainment web sites offering their in-depth psychoanalytical expertise as to the causes of America's Shining Beacon of Light's performance last week. Britney herself was so distraught over her less than stellar show, she forgot to fully dress for her big night out on the town afterwards with her brother. I guess the thought never crossed her mind that a battalion of paparazzi armed with cameras and flashbulbs would be trained on her every move as she climbed into a limo with no dignity OR panties. Whose fault was this, I wonder?

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Every story in life has a bottom line. I was taught growing up that ultimately I'm responsible for everything I do. If I'm not responsible for my failures, how can I take credit for my successes? Society has evolved into a YOU LOST or I WON mentality. All the deep thinkers across the globe have been offering free of charge, their objective opinion as to what happened to Britney Spears. You know what, in this particular case, I'm not sure just how responsible Spears really is for her own actions.



Britney Spears has been professionally performing since she was eight years old. You have to believe more emphasis was placed on her musical abilities than her intellectual and emotional needs. Too many parents look upon these kids through $$$ colored glasses than the emotional stability of that kid. Too many of these parents start living their inadequate lives through these little cash registers. Then one day, the kid turns 18 and now they're calling the shots. Britney Spears isn't capable of putting on panties, let alone contributing anything useful to herself, her kids or society in general. Ultimately, this is her responsibility. She doesn't seem overly concerned about this, why then should humanitarians like Kanye West, Simon Cowell and you be concerned either? Right now she appears well on her way to becoming the exact same kind of mother and selfish human being she grew up with.

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Faber College's Dean Vernon Wormer said it best, when advising Animal House's Kent "Flounder" Dorfman, "Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son." Grow up already Britney, and finally take some responsibility for your own actions. Be a better mother to your kids than your mother was to you. Keep in mind that prophetically speaking, Dean Wormer could have just as easily been advising you as well Britney. The only difference being, as far as I know, Flounder was never photographed getting into a limo without his underwear on.........

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