Monday, March 10, 2008

Time For Obama To Deliver a Body Slama!


Look, up in the sky. It's a bird, it's a plane, it's SuperObama. Now has come the time to transform those words of hope into a plan of action. So the saying goes, "you can't bring a knife to a gun fight anymore than you can invoke the Marquess of Queensberry rules to a street brawl." When your opponent, be it man, woman or desperate, shrill politician decides to discard the rules of engagement, you have no alternative but to follow suit. Because if you don't, you will soon find yourself on the short end of the pantsuit. Team Hillary is now clearly in a take no prisoners mode. A state of critical mass has been reached and Barack Obama can no longer claim the high ground of hope while Hillary scorches and chars the field of reality. The Clintons think they've finally figured out the magic formula to usurp the will of the people by using despicable and deceitful methods that would make even Karl Rove blush.

Firstly, repeat the same phrase over and over and over again until people accept what they hear as truth rather than campaign rhetoric. Can anybody begin to accurately count how many times they've been told how Hillary has 35 years of experience and how ready she is to lead from day one? As has been noted in this blog many times, she's 60 years old and has started the experience clock from the moment she passed the Arkansas Bar Exam. Perhaps this so called experience would have been more detailed had she not previously FAILED the Washington D.C. Bar Exam. Now, I do realize that passing any legitimate bar exam is difficult and not a criteria to be elected president. Look at our current president. He never passed a bar either, especially if it was fully stocked with Jack Daniels. But getting a law degree, being First Lady of Arkansas and the United States, being a Wal-Mart Board Member and being repeatedly publicly embarrassed and humiliated by your cheating husband, is not a training ground to become leader of the free world.

The truth is nobody has experience doing anything until you do it. Does John McCain have more experience and right to be president because he was held captive in a prison? If that were the case, I suppose Charles Manson is by far the more qualified candidate, my friends. Hillary Clinton's 3AM experience answering the phone has previously involved finding Bill, more than saving the world from nuclear holocaust. Name me some of McCain's 3AM accomplishments. I imagine finding his glasses so he could find his teeth are the top two. Everybody loves touting their experience for things they've never done. All we can really do is look at the records of the candidates and their judgments thus far. Most of Hillary's experience has been as the wife of a silver tongued and haired orator who has dispensed personal charm more effectively than he has legislatively. Being a spouse of someone successful is all well and good, but it shouldn't be grist to fill in your resume. Who voted for the War in Iraq again?

Let's be honest here, had her name been Hillary Depilatory, could she have moved to New York and been elected to the US Senate? No way, she rode the coattails of the Immoral Dope from Hope right into that cushy job. Now she's looking to star in the sequel in Washington DC. She is clearly demonstrating that she and her team of high paid manipulators will stop at nothing to accomplish her dream at your expense. Hillary is a tough leader when it suits her purpose and an abused woman when that's more advantageous. She's a gracious woman when that's what's called for and a bare knuckled brawler the next. The bottom line is clearly she will do anything, say anything and manipulate anybody to achieve her objective. She's not fighting fair, she's fighting dirty. Barack Obama must therefore put the politics of hope on hold and fight fire with fire before his presidential aspirations go up in smoke.

The electorate claim over and over again how much they loathe negative campaigning. They also claim not to stop in traffic and stare at the mangled mass of what was once a car. People hate sex and violence so much on television that the networks ram it by the pound down your collective throats every time they need to boost their ratings. Senator Obama can't listen to what people say but rather how they act. If he's serious about winning the democratic nomination and eventually the White House, the time has come to prove it with words of fear over hope, lies over truth and telling people what they want to hear as opposed to what they need to hear. Hillary is doing that right now and it's working. In a perfect world, your head could campaign in the clouds even when your opponent's head is in the gutter. But this is far from a perfect world and reality dictates you have to come back down to earth and have at it. If Hillary wants to fight, I say give her one. Ask Hillary where her tax returns are, where her White House papers are, where the list of contributors to the Clinton Library are and while we're asking, it's now 3AM, I wonder where Hillary's husband is.......

Friday, March 7, 2008

Tough Talk Does Not Translate Into ACTION


If only Americans applied the theory that walking the walk takes precedence over talking the talk, we might actually be the greatest country on earth in practice rather than through empty words. I sometimes feel our national symbol should be one of those garish over sized We're Number 1 Foam Rubber Fingers rather than a majestically soaring bald eagle. Yes maam and yes sir, Americans can convince themselves of almost anything. The more outrageous the claim, the louder we talk and talk and talk. Because if we say it enough times and if others repeat it enough times, we eventually will believe just about anything. It's an over simplification to claim this is a result of good old fashioned stupidity, but seemingly anything will be accepted as a proven fact if it's repeated enough times. Over the years numerous psychological tests have been conducted to substantiate this phenomenon. You can conduct a variation of how this works yourself. Gather up 20 of your closest friends in one room. Tell friend #1 a totally unsubstantiated rumor and write down specifically what you asserted. Then tell friend #1 to repeat verbatim the same rumor to friend #2 and so on and so forth. I guarantee by the time friend #20 hears the rumor, it will be almost completely different from what you told friend #1.

Some of you are now asking yourself what does this prove. Thank you for asking. In the most basic terminology, even though people assimilate what you tell them, their brain will interpret the information the way it's been conditioned to process data. This is most often a reflection of their own belief system. I had told friend #1 that a photo of Barack Obama exists in which he's wearing a Muslim suicide bomber uniform and should he be elected President of the United States, he will assemble and lead a jihad known as the "Reign of Hussein" against Americans as we blissfully sleep in our beds. If your group of 20 is truly a diverse cross section of America, at least a handful of your network are now panic stricken and the last person in line has heard such a terrifying misrepresentation of the original story, he's probably driving 90 mph to the nearest gun shop to purchase his own private stash of WMD. The bottom line is, some people will laugh at the ridiculousness of this idiotic rumor you initiated, some people will laugh but surmise there could be a scintilla of truth to it, some would say "aha, I knew it" and some people are debating whether they should purchase two or three bazookas to protect their double wide from the invading horde from the middle east.

People believe what they choose to believe and that's exacerbated exponentially the more times they hear it. Even if you've paid minimal attention to this year's presidential campaigns, you've all heard how Hillary's 35 years of experience alone qualifies her to lead this country from day one. We've heard it so many times in fact, people have become Pavlovian in the manner they repeat it without even realizing they're doing it. Congratulations to you. You have drunk the kool-aid trough dry and now qualify for health care under Hillary's Automaton Healthcare Program. Before it's too late, I would suggest you take a road trip down the nearest highway and much like the average Canine-American, open your mouth and stick your head out the window to ingest maximum oxygen. Then quietly sit down with one of those delicious over-sized black and white cookies or perhaps a waffle on a stick and ask your self one minor question. Hillary's 35 years of experience doing what exactly?

First some simple math. Hillary is a 60 year old woman. My mathematic skills indicate to me this experience train she has been riding left the depot in 1973 when Hillary was 25 years of age. In the winter of '73 when the experience process began, Hillary was a 3rd year law student at Yale University. Trust me when I tell you how much is to be learned at that ivy covered bar and grill, but there are NO presidential experience law 101 classes offered. She then spent a few months studying for the Washington, D.C. and Arkansas Bar Exams. 551 of the 817 applicants or 67% taking the D.C. exam passed. Hillary, however, was one of the 266 applicants who FAILED! She did manage to pass the somewhat less prestigious Arkansas Bar Exam, but would keep the D.C. failure a closely guarded secret, even from her closest friends, for nearly 30 years. Hillary then worked as a congressional junior legal counsel. A year later, she married William "Fidelity" Clinton and relocated to Little Rock, Arkansas. If there's one thing we can all agree on, if you want to learn how to lead the free world, a world class, cosmopolitan metropolis like Little Rock is the place to do this. Bill did it and Mike "Goober" Huckabye fell about 12 million votes short of replicating that plan, so the odds are even money that if you want to become president, Arkansas is the place for you. Hillary worked for a local law firm until she became First Lady of Arkansas in 1981. Except for a two year period, she continued in the role until 1992. During that two year period, she gained invaluable presidential experience as a board member of Wal-Mart. She then graduated from first lady of Arkansas to First Lady of the United States until 2001. She has been the junior senator of New York for the past seven years. The last US Senator to become president was John Kennedy in 1960. Before JFK, only two other US Senators have gone on to be elected president since 1888. The senate is not a great training ground to become ready from day one it would seem.

So to recap Hillary's 35 years of experience. One year was spent in law school. Two years as a junior congressional "gofer". Six years as an Arkansas lawyer. Two years as a board member of Wal-Mart. Nine years as the First Lady of Arkansas. Eight years as the First Lady of the US. Seven years as a US Senator. 1+2+6+2+9+8+7 = 35. Yeah that works. I once helped a friend of mine paint his ceiling. I suppose that qualifies me to repaint as least a portion the Sistine Chapel. I mean Michaelangelo wasn't all that tested to paint from day one. Let's get real Hillary. My six year old nephew has as much presidential experience as Senators Obama, McCain and you combined. He may in fact be even more qualified because of his proficiency in Xbox and Wii. He certainly is intellectually superior to George W, but let's leave that idiot savant out of this discussion and continue focusing on you. I hope Senator Obama starts leading the chorus to more carefully analyze your 35 years, your unwillingness to release your tax returns, your failure to release your secretive presidential papers so the American people can find out just what you did in the White House, your unwillingness to list Bill's presidential library donor list, why you need six rings to answer the phone and most importantly, why you're still dressed in what appears to be a polyester/rayon blend pantsuit and necklace at 3AM.

Could it be you're a vampire, Hillary? Hey everybody, light your torches and find the secret lair of the Transylvanian Titwillow. I always recall the colloquialism that "it ain't bragging if you can back it up". But if you can't back it up, then it becomes time to shut it up. You haven't put forth one positive contribution to this entire nomination process. That could all change instantly, however, if you put the American people and the best interests of the democratic party before yourself and made an immediate concession speech. You can even make it self serving. Use that 35 years of experience to do something real for once. That's the kind of tough talk that translates into positive action...

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

There's no I in Team, But There is in Hillary


Life is often separated by two philosophies. What's best for the greater good of society on one hand and what's best for me on the other. Any well adjusted human knows there are legitimate times to incorporate both. However, certain narcissistic humans convince themselves that what's best for them will naturally be best for everybody else. I am convinced beyond a shadow of a doubt that Hillary Clinton believes she was predestined to become President of the United States. When she repeatedly claims her mantra of how her 35 years of experience has prepared her for this lofty goal, she never elucidates any actual specificities to back up her words with actions. Hillary Clinton wants to be president. She demands her place in history as the first female to be elected president. She believes God herself has singled her out to take her rightful place alongside every notable martyr, philosopher, saint and leader before her. How does any reasonable adult allow him/herself to believe that the person to lead us from eight years of hopeless wandering through a deep chasm to the mountaintop is a self appointed 60 year old carnival barker with a shrill voice and a personality as authentic as plastic?

I was sickened once again in my lifetime to have to helplessly stand by and watch a fraudulent charlatan exploit peoples' beliefs, weaknesses, hopes and dreams, just so she can fulfill the grandeur of her own ego. Team Hillary once again crawled out from behind the woodwork to dupe the majority of the citizenry of Texas, Ohio and my beloved Rhode Island on Tuesday to capture the popular vote in those three primaries. In actuality, it's not the popular vote that nominates presidents, but the locally elected delegates. That means the four contests were basically a draw, but nobody should think this nominating process has anything to do with reality. This is all about perception and deception. A week ago, were you in a panic about who would answer that 3AM ringing phone along with what color pantsuit they would be wearing? Wake up America, you're being manipulated, duped and played for suckers by the exact same kind of people that made fools of you for the previous eight years. The only discernible difference between George W. Bush and Hillary Clinton is that one of them urinates standing up and the other sitting down. Just please don't try to pin me down as to which does what.

This country desperately needs a change in course direction after two Bush terms. Unless you're an oil company executive reading this, your life and that of your children has devalued as much as our currency has since 2001. Everything has less value but costs more. If you come to Europe and plan to spend $2,000, you'll have to bring $3,000 because of the shrinking value of the US dollar. That same $2,000 tab will run you $4,000 in the UK and is now a wash in Canada. Your SUV will soon be swallowing $4 per gallon gas and everything will cost more because it's more expensive to get from point A to point B. American soldiers continue to die and suffer catastrophic injuries in Iraq, but the high prices, home foreclosures and hatred between segments of society have pushed the war off the front pages. We are, after all, an out of sight, out of mind people. Right now the war only becomes an issue when politicians need to pander for votes by pulling a flag out of their back pockets to wave and rally about the brave men and women of our armed forces.

Why are people so gullible? Why do millions of democrats allow themselves to be made fools of by Hillary's sales staff? Hillary is the ringing phone candidate, the ready from day one candidate, the solutions candidate, the action not words candidate, the everything positive but nothing negative candidate and perhaps even the Manchurian Candidate. She plays the victim card, the woman card and the concerned mother card all in one breath and then becomes the terminator in the next. Hillary is everything to everybody. Ask not what your Hillary can do for you, but what can you do for your Hillary. Go ahead, take a sheet of blank white paper and list all of her accomplishments over the past 35 years and see afterwards how strongly the finished product resembles the same blank sheet of paper you started with. The nomination game was played by the rules and Barack Obama won fair and square. Make no mistake, however, this nomination was never about fair or square, it was all about Hillary. She will pull the entire democratic party into the mud with her before she will concede defeat. You don't like the results of the game, keep changing the game until such time as you do.

This was never about what's best for America, but always about what was best for Hillary. Her self proclaimed destiny demands that. She will be president no matter who or what must be destroyed along the way. I keep hearing politics is a dirty game and nothing is out of bounds. I am competitive and like to win as much as the next guy, but I also hold my integrity in esteem as well. If your ambition supersedes your honor and your honor supersedes nothing, you invariably become what you behold. Individuals must represent their team, not the other way around. The moment that fact is forgotten becomes the moment the team is forgotten as well. Hillary is going to do what's best for Hillary. But she can only do this if you allow her to. Pennsylvania didn't ask for this assignment but regardless, on April 22nd it's theirs. Do you want to make a difference? Do you want to save the team in order to to save the country? Then carpe diem Pennsylvania.

By the way, when that phone does ring at 3AM, I want it answered in less than six rings by a trusted member of Team Obama. Not by some control freak in a pajama pantsuit and pearls. That last sentence is applicable to either Hillary or McCain. Vote on that why don't you...

Monday, March 3, 2008

If You Will Buy It, She Will Keep Selling It!


Much like in gambling, real property transactions or dating girls, someone is always armed and ready to take advantage of you like the sucker you are. Much like people forced by the courts to wear monitoring devices around their ankles, a much larger segment of society should be adjudicated to have "VICTIM" indelibly etched across their forehead. Everybody likes to laugh out loud about how merchants, car salesmen, service industry employees, clergy and politicians try to make buffoons of them, but the victims don't hear these perpetrators laughing out louder as they greedily line their pockets with your abundant gullibility. Politicians over the years have learned to convert certain defeat into certain victory by exploiting you, the clueless home voter. They simplistically do this by simplistically assuring people to provide high paying jobs, better schools, affordable health insurance, lower taxes and mostly safety for you and your sleeping children. This seems so damn simple, you wonder why these problems still even exist.

Ever since the public first became afflicted with the deadly pox known as Bush-Shot that initially reared its ugly head in the late 80's, this country has rapidly sunk deeper and deeper into a malaise that has mutated to where people have become so accustomed to the taste of stupidity, they keep going back for seconds. Even though political dirty tricks were not a novelty nearly 30 years ago, they had not sunk to the depths they were heading under republican strategist and mentor to a young Porky Pig lookalike Karl Rove, named Leroy "Lee" Atwater. This despicable excuse for a human being single handedly inducted himself into the political Hall of Shame during the 1980 congressional campaigns. He helped defeat a democrat for congress by exposing the fact the candidate had electroshock treatments as a 16 year old boy to combat thoughts of suicide. Atwater also helped George H.W. Bush defeat Michael Dukakis with the exploitive and racist Willie Horton ads. It was during this foray into the political abyss that Atwater befriended George W. Bush. Lil Bush was basically given the nepotistic assignment of spying for his daddy. What else could a 42 year old stupid, drunken, drug addicted failure and imbecile with a Yale undergraduate degree and MBA from Harvard do to earn a living on his own?

Junior was so impressed with Atwater's acumen as a despicable liar and manipulator of people and facts, he would become engaged to Karl Rove. Sadly, Lee Atwater would contract brain cancer and die two years after Daddy Bush took office. Atwater found religion and apologetically reached out to all he trashed in order to seek absolution before his death in 1991. No such epiphany for George W or Rove to date and I find it doubtful that day will ever come for either of these wastes of space. Bush will be shown the door in less than a year and Karl Rove is now a journalist in the proud tradition of Bill O'Reilly, Sean Hanity and the rest of the pied pipers of phlegm at the Right Wing Retardation Reich aka FOX News. Democrats have for the past 30 years tried to counter this dirt by taking the high road. Since 1976, only Bill Clinton has managed to do so. So when the going gets tough, the tough get copying. So Hillary Clinton and her 35 years of experience, ready to lead from day one and so on, is now throwing everything in the house including the house itself to see if anything will stick to that proverbial wall. In her latest hurl, Hillary has gone roving to Karl's play book and is trying to terrorize Americans with terrorism.

Yes sir, your kids are sleeping like angels at 3:00 AM eastern time when the phone rings. Not your phone mind you, but Hillary's phone in the White House. Hillary is ready in her fully decked out Victoria Secret negligee pantsuit waiting for the call. Hillary answers and finds out the terrorists are rolling into towns all over America. All the rolling has apparently made their ribs sore, but they're determined nonetheless. Hillary, clearly agitated, asks the person on the other end, "why do they always call me first?" She doesn't really mind but still, every time there's a terrorist at the door or at a debate, she invariably gets called on first. It seems a thin African-American man wearing a Kenyan costume along with a Si Se Pueda baseball cap and an African-American woman who has a less than proud look on her punim were seen around Capitol Hill. Well Commander Clinton, what do we do? "Um, let me ask Bill." The First Laddie, however, is nowhere to be found. Hillary finds a note on the front door. The note reads "I've been ready from day one to see that dark haired, pudgy intern in the blue dress. Don't wait up, this time I'll drop the dress off at the dry cleaner myself."

Hillary is too experienced to be angry this time. She can't just make a speech about taking her eyes off the balls and allowing the Arkansas Mongoose to escape its confinement to Bill now. She needs solutions, not speeches. She knew she was being delusional thinking the Little Rock Lothario would become Old Faithful. She needs to get real. After all, it's been Hillary's experience that even a smooth operator like Bill still has rough edges after 35 years of aint being nothing but a hound dog. What to do? Then it slaps her like a palm on the business end of a thong. Call Vice President Kucinich away from his quail hunting safari with former Vice President Cheney and let him make the decision. That's what you call leadership.....

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