Monday, December 31, 2007

The Gold "MENTAL" of Comedy


This third and final joke is a legendary one most often told by comedians to other comedians. Over time, it has almost become a competition amongst funny men as to who will author the most vile, crude, raunchy, explicative laced version of the timeless favorite. For my money, the winner hands down is Gilbert Gottfried. So many variations exist that Paul Provenza and Penn Jillette made a documentary, conveniently titled "the Aristocrats," in which over 100 comedians discuss the joke as an art form and relate their personal version for the camera. One of my favorite versions, and the one I will present here for your enjoyment, is the one done by Martin Mull. Any other version, especially the one by Gilbert Gottfried, is not for the faint of heart, so watch at your own risk!!!

If , like me, you now feel the need to see ALL versions of the joke currently made to date, I highly recommend purchasing the DVD, "The Aristocrats." It's absolutely hysterical. But remember, it's at your own risk!!!

Friday, December 28, 2007

Ladies & Gentlemen - Joke Number Two!

Joke number two much like number one is disgusting without being dirty. I would never recommend you tell this joke to your mother or grandmothers, but everyone else should be able to digest it successfully so to speak, so here goes.

A one time regular patron at his neighborhood bar returned after a lengthy absence. This guy was revered there much like Norm Peterson was at Cheers. The bartender happily welcomes "Joe" back and asks his one time best customer where he's been lo these many weeks.

Joe sadly tells the barkeep he is no longer going to be consuming alcohol and just stopped by to wish everyone a fond farewell. The bartender, along with some of the other regulars, appear distraught and inquire as to why.

Joe explains the last time he was at the bar, he got way too drunk and ran into some tremendous difficulties. It seems on the way home, he drunkenly clipped another vehicle, crashed into his own garage door and got a severe lecture from his irate wife. She even threatened to leave her husband if he ever drank again.

But this was just the tip of the iceberg. The lovable lush finished off this unpleasant evening by "Blowing Chunks." The bartender said he was sorry to hear of his best patron's misfortune but in his opinion, giving up drinking all together was perhaps a wee bit too extreme.

The bartender told his buddy that we all had some minor mishaps when drinking and he would be happy to arrange for a designated driver in the future. As for "Blowing Chunks," that's not such a big deal, at one time or another, that's happened to all of us.

"You don't understand" the obviously embarrassed drunk confessed. You see, Chunks is my dog. Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrump Bump...........

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Weight Loss Diet Help

Losing weight is not only the number one New Year's resolution, but also the most difficult to keep. With New Year's Day arriving in less than one week, you may very well be one of the millions of people looking to start 2008 off with a successful diet plan at the ready, but can't seem to quite decide on which diet is best for you. If this sounds familiar, you need to check out Weight Loss Diet Help. This website presents and compares the most popular weight loss diet plans and programs currently available. These are plans virtually everybody is familiar with, due to television, radio and print advertising. But the fact of the matter is, you never really seriously considered any one specific plan or researched your options thoroughly. Now that the time has come to get serious about dieting, you should look at this most informative website for information about specific diet plans and what you can expect to achieve as a weight loss goal with each.

For example, three of the most well known diet plans are reviewed. These plans are Medifast, Nutrisystem and Weight Watchers. According to this website, if you follow the Medifast program, it is possible to lose up to twenty pounds in a month without counting calories or preparing meals, simply by utilizing Medifast products. The program stresses five low calorie, nutritious Medifast mini-meals and one balanced meal of protein and vegetables. Documented studies have shown this particular diet to be extremely effective for diabetics.

Nutrisystem also utilizes meals which you select and are delivered free directly to your front door. Here, too, the program has been created with convenience as a priority. There are programs specifically designed for women, men, diabetics, older adults and even vegetarians. Although there are no required meetings to attend, membership does include access to unlimited counseling and a plethora of online services to assist you.

Weight Watchers has been a consistent player in the weight loss business because they offer programs that really work. Their commitment has been not only to weight loss but to maintaining that loss over time. Weight Watchers has modified their programs with the times, providing options that fit more consistently with today's ever changing lifestyles. The Weight Watchers name is also associated with recipes, a magazine, products available in your local supermarket as well as a number of comprehensive online tools.

In addition to the three programs just discussed, other programs such as the South Beach Diet and are also reviewed. For your further convenience, any applicable coupons and promotions are also noted with each specific plan. Weight Loss Diet Help rounds out its information with a series of relevant articles, such as "Easy Tips to Lose One Pound a Week" and "Why Diets Fail So Often," just to name a few. So, if you are truly serious about your 2008 resolution to lose weight, visit Weight Loss Diet Help right away and begin the journey to a better, happier and healthier you...

This post is sponsored

Veritas Salutes the Holidays with 3 Classics!


In order to properly celebrate this festive season, I will submit for your review my three favorite jokes. I shall lead off with a classic penguin joke. If you've never heard this joke, sit back and be prepared to roar with laughter. If you have heard it before, it's just as funny the 1,000th time as the first. Anybody who knows me will back that statement up.

This happy go lucky penguin is cruising down the street in his high performance car, when all of a sudden out of the blue, he hears a disturbing noise coming from under the hood. As many of you know, penguins are cold weather denizens that are much more at home in the icy terrain of Antarctica, than working as automotive mechanics.

Despite the disturbing engine sound, today was surely the penguin's lucky day. He noticed an automotive garage with a big neon sign proudly announcing "Mechanic on Duty." The penguin managed to get the vehicle into the parking area of the shop and found the mechanic. He described to the mechanic what he heard as he was motoring down the street. The mechanic explained he was very busy, but promised to take a look at the vehicle and determine the problem in approximately one hour.

The penguin noticed a shopping center across the street and figured an air conditioned mall would be a perfect place to await the mechanic's assessment. The penguin waddled over to the mall and enjoyed some window shopping and then happened by an ice cream place. It's a well known fact, penguins love ice cream and this guy was no different, so he ordered a three scoop bowl of delicious vanilla ice cream.

The penguin also noticed that it was now just over an hour since he dropped his vehicle off. So he paid for his ice cream and began waddling back to the auto garage. As you all well know, penguins don't have hands so he had to eat his ice cream by dipping his beak into the bowl.

As he arrived back at the garage, he met the mechanic near the front door. The mechanic looked the penguin in the eye and noticed his ice cream covered face, telling him "it looks like you blew you a seal." The penguin without batting an eye, said, "nah, it's just ice cream."

Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrump Bump. Watch in a couple of days for part II. I promise they get better....

Monday, December 24, 2007

CIGNA "Insures" Their Subscribers Die!


A Northridge, California teenager awaiting a liver transplant died Thursday after she was pulled off of life support. Nataline Sarkisian died at about 6 p.m. at University of California, Los Angeles, Medical Center. She had been in a vegetative state for weeks and was being kept alive by life support machines according to her mother, Hilda. "She passed away, and the CIGNA insurance company is responsible for this," she said. "They took my daughter away from me," said Nataline's father, Krikor, who appeared at a news conference Friday with his 21-year-old son, Bedros. Mark Geragos, a California attorney best known for defending Scott Peterson, said he plans to ask the district attorney to press murder or manslaughter charges against CIGNA HealthCare in the case. The insurer "maliciously killed her" because it did not want to bear the expense of her transplant and aftercare, Geragos announced at a press conference on Friday.

liver transplant

Nataline had been battling leukemia and received a bone marrow transplant from her brother. She developed a complication, however, that caused her liver to fail. Doctors at UCLA determined she needed a transplant and sent a letter to CIGNA Healthcare on December 11. The Philadelphia-based health insurance company denied payment for the transplant. On Thursday, about 150 teenagers and nurses protested outside CIGNA's office in Glendale. As the protesters rallied, the company reversed its decision and said it would approve the transplant after all. Despite the reversal, CIGNA said in an e-mail statement before she died that there was a lack of medical evidence showing the procedure would work in Nataline's case. "Our hearts go out to Nataline and her family, as they endure this terrible ordeal," the company said. " ... CIGNA HealthCare has decided to make an exception in this rare and unusual case and we will provide coverage should she proceed with the requested liver transplant."


CIGNA's collective hearts go out to the deceased 17 year old girl and her grieving family? Every time I hear that phrase nowadays, it makes me want to pull the heart out of the chest of whomever is saying it. That expression, along with people claiming they need closure and constantly apologizing to you, is so meaningless and self serving. Let's be completely honest, CIGNA didn't reject authorization for this potentially life saving operation with the best interests of the patient in mind. They did it to save a boatload of company money. What criteria after all do you think generates end of year bonuses? Does anyone believe for one second that if the child in question was the 17 year old daughter of CIGNA'S CEO or other highly placed board members, this liver transplant would have been rejected? Health insurance companies are no different then computer or roof repair companies; they're in business to make money. I don't get the feeling that the doctors and administrators who call the shots at insurance companies look as hard for ways to save lives as they do to save money.


I don't, however, think CIGNA should take all the blame in this instance. Doctors at UCLA compassionately insisted this dying young girl needed a liver transplant to survive. Where was that same compassion and insistence, I wonder, when CIGNA initially rejected the claim? I'm not so naive that I don't fully understand that insurance companies and hospitals, much like computer repairers and roofers, are in business primarily, if not solely, to make money. The one minor difference, however, is that people don't generally die if their computer is infected with a worm or if their roof leaks. That same statement can't be uttered when a 17 year old leukemia patient's very life depends on receiving a new liver to give her the possibility of reaching her 18th birthday and beyond.


Could UCLA not afford to perform the potential life saving operation? Could they not have resubmitted medical data to CIGNA explaining why this procedure could very well work? Could they not have proved their theory by accompanying this girl to CIGNA headquarters and stuck their collective tongues out and say, "see?" Why do so many in this country oppose Universal Health Care while supporting the war in Iraq? Is taking a life so much more appealing than saving one? Most people generally in life get what they deserve. This, however, was clearly not the case for 17 year old Nataline Sarkisian. This young girl had earlier contracted leukemia, which is a cancer of the blood or bone marrow, and as a result suffered irreversible live damage requiring a transplant. It's Christmas tomorrow. I'm sure the majority of CIGNA executives and UCLA Hospital administrators will be exchanging gifts with loved ones while stuffing their fat faces. The Sarkisian family won't be sharing your joy, however. They will be in mourning for the loss of their beloved, Nataline. Obviously nobody knows definitively if this liver transplant would have saved her life. By the same token, nobody knows it wouldn't have either. I hope insurance company and hospital decision makers will think of this dead 17 year old and wonder what could have been had they simple tried. I wonder what the guy whose birth you're celebrating on the 25th would have done? Ahhhh, don't worry about it. Just stuff some more ham in your face and have yourself a very Merry Christmas............

Friday, December 21, 2007

Getting Away With Murder

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The authorities on the island nation of Aruba announced on Tuesday that they are closing the books on the most notorious murder case in their history. Natalee Holloway, the pretty, blond teenager from Alabama was undoubtedly murdered in the spring of 2005. I once read a quote that stated, "when a person dies young, they lose the life they never got to live." The early portion of your existence was never meant as anything more than a preparation for what lies ahead. Natalee Holloway's life was snuffed out before she got her chance. Fate would inexplicably dictate that life would come to end in a most unceremonious way on a most ignominious 75 square mile Caribbean island. Natalee Holloway was almost certainly murdered back on May 30, 2005. She was with a group of her classmates to celebrate her high school graduation by going on what must have seemed like an exotic adventure to Aruba. What was supposed to be her last night on the island instead became her last night alive. She was last seen in the company of a local loser named, Joran van der Sloot and an additional pair of fellow losers and brothers Deepak and Satish Kalpoe, after a night of hanging out and a little drinking at a local bar. When she left the bar, few could imagine she would never be seen alive again.


Her body was never found either and it would seem, baring some unlikely miracle, it never will be. On Tuesday, prosecutors announced they were closing the books on this case. It would seem her killer or killers have gotten away with murder. If you're a completely fair minded human being, you may be inclined to believe that all people are innocent until proved guilty. But I put more stock in reality than equity. 18 year old girls just don't die of natural causes and seemingly vanish off the face of the earth very often. They are much more likely to lose their life to opportunistic and predatory punks with evil intentions. Only three people know exactly what happened to that girl on that late May evening more than two and one-half years ago, and God bless them, they're not talking. I only give the three of them credit for appearing to be smarter than they look. I initially thought this case would be a slam dunk and resolved very quickly. You had three mental midgets who didn't seem bright enough to ad-lib gastric discharge at a bean eating contest without cue cards. You had documented evidence of them lying to police and all three of them telling different versions of the same story.


What I failed to take into consideration, however, was the sheer ineptitude of Aruba's crack investigative force of keystone cops and van der Sloot's attorney father. Daddy definitely knew much more than he admitted and even though he failed in his attempt to raise a decent son, he excelled in counseling said son as to how beat a likely 2nd or 3rd degree murder rap. I have asked myself many times in the event that one day I have children, would I use my legal expertise to become an accessory after the fact to the murder of an innocent young woman. Would I commit a heinous felony and ethical failure, so my less than honorable son would remain free? How would I regard and respect my willing and grateful son in teaching him how to get away with a senseless murder? It's pointless to claim I can definitively answer these hypothetical questions, but I wonder nonetheless. I would after all, be fully cognizant of the consequences of my actions. But what would I do? I'm far from the definition of exemplary, but the only so called religious concept I subscribe to is the Golden Rule. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Obviously, I hope this scenario never comes into play.

pray for natalee holloway

I don't worry about these particular murderers or their families, however. What goes around, comes around and I want to believe those involved in the murder and disappearance of this girl will one day have their turn to suffer. I save my empathy for the family and friends of Natalee Holloway. She would probably be in her junior year of undergrad today. She'd be preparing for Christmas with her family and wondering how she did on her finals. She'd be making plans to get together with some of her good friends from high school. She might even be reminiscing about that crazy high school graduation trip to Aruba. Whatever she'd be doing, it would have been a hell of a lot better than being murdered and having her body disposed of who knows where. The final sad part of all of this is, if only the authorities could turn up her body. It is in rare cases possible to get a murder conviction without a corpse, but this case just isn't one of them. Any 3rd rate defense attorney could argue she's alive and well and living under a pseudonym happily ever after on Guam or in Cleveland. Fortunately, everybody must have their guilt proved beyond a reasonable doubt. It seems unfortunate, however when despicable murderers like we have here, can thumb their collective noses at justice and get away with murder........

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

La Dolce Vita

I admit it, there's nothing in the world I enjoy more than traveling. When I'm not on the road, exploring some of the most beautiful places in the world, I love writing about and documenting my travels. I've been most fortunate to witness a great deal of our world and without question, my most favorite place to explore is Italy. Each and every region of this beautiful country is unique and distinctive. I have yet to visit the Northern Lakes region, which borders southern Switzerland, but plans are being formulated to rectify that very soon. I have, however, spent considerable time in the cradle of modern civilization known as Rome south to the city of Palermo, on the island of Sicily. When you think of Italy your first thoughts immediately travel back in time to Ancient Rome and all it has to offer. The magnificence of the Coliseum, the Forum, the Pantheon, Trevi Fountain, Spanish Steps, the Vatican...the list just goes on and on. In many ways, Rome is more than the capital of Italy, it is Italy, itself.

Then there is Venice. Ahhhh, Venice. When you think of Venice you instantly envision gondolas idyllically cruising the canals, but this is just a small part of all this unique city has to offer . There's St. Mark's Square (probably the most photographed plaza in all of Europe), St. Mark's Basilica, The Bridge of Sighs, and Doge's Plaza, just to whet your appetite for all that is Venetian. In addition, short side trips by water taxis or ferries are readily available to the charming little islands of Burano (famous for its intricate lace) and Murano (famous the world over for its hand made glass). If you're the romantic type and wish to exercise that aspect of your personality, by all means take a gondola's a very touristy thing to do, and is way over priced. You can, however, negotiate to your heart's content with the gondoliers and after all, as they say, when in Venice...

Travel to far away places that you've only seen in movies or television, heard about and read about is one of the great joys in life. It's not only bursting with excitement, but it's often educational and will leave you with memories that will last a lifetime. It can also be an expensive hobby, so what I find essential in these times, is lodging in the heart of the cities I visit, and within easy access of the major sites at the best possible value. Cheaper Than Hotels provides the most comprehensive listings of affordable and quality lodgings in countries all over the world. They also offer a number of luxury options, for when you wish to upgrade. They even offer last minute deals when opportunity beckons. Accommodations in Italy are available in every city imaginable, from one star to luxury five star, from Bed and Breakfast to guest houses to elaborate hotels. Some even include extras, such as breakfasts, free parking and accessibility to gym facilities. Options also exist for group rates, as with a conference, and arrangements for rentals cars are available as well. All this talk of travel has gotten me in the mood to plan my next trip with Cheaper Than Hotels.

Monday, December 17, 2007

************ SWINDLER'S LIST ***********

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Baseball had long been associated with mom, apple pie and America itself. Apparently in a misguided attempt to modernize its image, syringes, steroids and injectable human growth hormones have now become the vein popping and eye bulging face of our National Pastime. 86 major league baseball players, 29 of them currently active, have been officially named in the 409 page Mitchell Report for having their closest friends inject syringes fully loaded with anabolic steroids and human growth hormones into the 172 buttock cheeks in question. Let's start at the beginning. Some of you may not be exactly aware of what anabolic steroids and human growth hormones specifically are. You may even be wondering what the big deal is. If you include yourself among that group, take out your notebooks and pay attention.

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Anabolic-androgenic steroids are man-made substances related to male sex hormones. It's the specific male hormone testosterone that enables us men to amass muscle, be overly aggressive toward each other after a few beers and sex obsessed, women harassing juveniles until our later years when we need to ask our doctor for the little blue pill to continue practicing the same basic obnoxious lifestyle. Anabolic refers to muscle-building, and androgenic refers to increased masculine characteristics. Steroids refers to the class of drugs. These drugs are available legally only by prescription to treat conditions that occur when the body produces abnormally low amounts of testosterone, such as delayed puberty and some types of impotence. They are also prescribed to treat body wasting in patients with AIDS and other diseases that result in loss of lean muscle mass. Abuse of anabolic steroids, however, can lead to serious health problems, some irreversible. Today, athletes and others abuse anabolic steroids to enhance performance and also to improve physical appearance. Anabolic steroids are taken orally or injected, typically in cycles of weeks or months, (referred to as “cycling”) rather than continuously. Cycling involves taking multiple doses of steroids over a specific period of time, stopping for a period, and starting again. In addition, users often combine several different types of steroids to maximize their effectiveness while minimizing negative effects (referred to as “stacking”).

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The major side effects from abusing anabolic steroids can include liver tumors and cancer, jaundice (yellowish pigmentation of skin, tissues, and body fluids), fluid retention, high blood pressure, increases in LDL (bad cholesterol), and decreases in HDL (good cholesterol). Other side effects include kidney tumors, severe acne, and trembling. In addition, there are some gender-specific side effects. For men - shrinking of the testicles, reduced sperm count, infertility, baldness, development of breasts, increased risk for prostate cancer. I think I just described half the old men in my own family as well as sitting Vice President Dick Cheney. Scientific research also shows that aggression and other psychiatric side effects may result from abuse of anabolic steroids. Many users report feeling good about themselves while on anabolic steroids, but researchers report that extreme mood swings also can occur, including manic-like symptoms leading to violence. Depression often is seen when the drugs are stopped and may contribute to dependence on anabolic steroids. Researchers report also that users may suffer from paranoid jealousy, extreme irritability, delusions, and impaired judgment stemming from feelings of invincibility. Maybe this helps explain the always sunny disposition of the class of '86, Barry Bonds.

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So why would baseball players risk their health and very lives by injecting steroids? There's clearly millions of reasons. In some cases there's more than 20 million reasons annually in fact. Take the aforementioned Barry Bonds and Roger Clemens to name two. 45 year old Roger Clemens pitched for the New York Yankees as recently as the playoffs back in October. Clemens came up with my beloved Boston Red Sox in 1984 as a "flame throwing" right hander. He was a great pitcher for mediocre Sox teams for 13 seasons. Then it became apparent that "The Rocket," as he was affectionately known, realized his great career may be coming to an end. Clemens was past 34 years of age and it was not unusual for hard throwers to be ending careers at that point much more often than becoming born again. Between 1993 and his last year in Beantown, 1996, the three time Cy Young Award Winner had a record of 40 wins and 39 losses. Boston reluctantly let Clemens leave for Toronto in 1997 right around the time the then 35 year old was alleged to have entered into his close relationship with steroids. In his two seasons with Toronto, Clemens took on the appearance of the Phoenix rising from the ashes. He won 41 games and lost only 13. He won his fourth and fifth Cy Young Awards and parlayed his success into a megabuck free agent deal with the hated New York Yankees. Clemens pitched great for nine more seasons with the Yankees and his home town Houston Astros, winning 2 more Cy Young Awards and finishing with more wins than losses each and every year. His last two seasons were very similar to his closing days with the Red Sox more than a decade ago. Clemens, however, made enough money to buy the world and all the steroids it holds over a 11 year part deux of a 24 year major league career.

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Yeah, Roger was one of the gang of 86. His agent vehemently denies it but after all, that's what agents do. Roger's not in Cairo, but he's in denial. Cheaters love cheating, it's the getting caught they hate. If Roger is innocent, he can sue major league baseball and make more money than he made pitching 24 years, but he won't. You can't sue for slander or libel when the accusations are true. You don't have to believe me, Rocket, ask Barry. What galls me about this whole steroid issue is baseball had no policy banning steroid use. Why would they, the legends who hit and pitched like Gods were good for business. MLB even ran an ad campaign for a while with the slogan, "Chicks dig the Long Ball." I don't think those same chicks were too crazy about the shrinking testicles, violent mood swings and male PMS, however. The players deceived the fans, their teammates, the opposition and most importantly the game itself. Some of the cheaters claimed they did it because everybody else was doing it. Some did it to prolong mediocre careers to in effect steal money. Some for pure ego, they couldn't tolerate seeing others steal their thunder. I feel most did it because they could. Baseball turned a blind eye and is now outraged that their private shame is public. Steroid use will now stop the same way the pep pills from the previous generation stopped. What will it be next? I have no idea, but rest assured, some geek in some lab is hard at work developing something that will make a pitcher throw harder and a batter to hit harder. Whatever it is, I hope a side effect of the substance makes white guys dance better. I love the night life, but my boogie skills need a lot more of some magic juice.....

Friday, December 14, 2007

*****Hollywood Writers Strike Mold*****

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For nearly six weeks, nary a word has been put to paper, as the strike by the Writers Guild of America against the Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers continues to drag on with no end in sight. The writers stopped writing on the morning of November 5th and vow to remain on strike until their demands are met. What they're demanding is what's making me think this strike is significantly more about greed than equity. It's not politically correct to side with management against the poor downtrodden worker but my "PC" starts and ends with my Dell Windows XP Media Edition machine. Let's first acknowledge the premise that every single wage earner in the United States of America is vastly underpaid. We're Americans damn it, therefore we are entitled to certain inaliable rights such as working fewer hours with better benefits for more money and longer vacations. This specific strike, however, is about more than a battle of dollars and benefits, it's about technological advances that writers did nothing to create but insist nonetheless on financially capitalizing upon.

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One of my handful of genius like theories tells me the first and last commandment of writers is that they write, actors act, producers producers, directors direct and best boys uh, I don't know what the hell they do but I do know whatever it is they do, they do it the best. Everybody doing what they do best is what makes television what it is today, CRAP. I'm not one of those people that makes outlandish statements about what I wouldn't do for a $1 million or if somebody held a gun to my head. If anybody out there wants to give me $700 cash, no third party post dated checks, I will watch an episode of Desperate Housewives or Gray's Anatomy. Put a gun to my temple and I'll not only watch them both, but I'll go on and on ad nauseum about how brilliant these shows are. But occasionally we can be honest can't we? These shows are nothing more than mind numbing diversions that waste an hour of our lives. Most of us won't miss the hours until we get near the end anyway. These programs, however, do make network executives and stockholders money. They make sponsors money and everyone connected gets their share as well.

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But as the legendary showmen P.T. Barnum loved to state the obvious when he proclaimed "there's a sucker born every minute." Producers, either by design or refusal to discount Barnum's theory, began selling an entire season of these shows on dvds for the low, low price of somewhere between $60.00 and $100.00. I wonder who was most stunned that people actually were shelling out money to own the very same shows that were televised two or three times already. People, you all have Tivo or vcrs. You can record these shows yourself if you honestly feel the need to add them to your collection, literally for your pennies on their dollar. The profit margin on these classics is probably about 98%. I mean the dvds have to run close to 25 cents each and the highly talented actors who have some "yank" get a little piece written into their contracts as well. There's also money to be paid and therefore made when people want must see tv on their two inch Ipod. So the writers decided to insist on receiving their boarding passes to the gravy train but the producers said NO. The deal is you write it, we exploit it. I can't prove it, but I bet Moses got shafted on residuals from the 10 commandments. That tees me off because I walked up Mount Sinai once and the entire way up and down I alternated between freezing, sweating, gasping for air from the scent of unwashed camels and the 14 pounds of sand I swallowed climbing up, then coming back down. Moses' agent, at the very least, was guilty of committing malpractice for not getting his client a better deal.

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The writers are not poor, uneducated wretches without any other options. They're not working miles underground in coal mines or on trucking docks, assembly lines or any other miserable union job where they're over worked and under compensated. Besides, many of those unions stood by helplessly as a lot of those jobs were lost to countries where their replacements are eight year old kids working 80 hours a week and trying to poison us with shiny lead. It was stressed to me and my fellow siblings growing up that if you work for a business head, you're going to get the shaft. My father was always as eloquent as he was thoughtful. His point, however, was well taken because he was right. If your job was so great, people you don't really like or respect wouldn't be obligated to paying you to regularly show up. Should the writers be treated better and receive decent size percentages of additional usages of their words and intellectual property? I suppose they should but then again it's not my, yours or their decision to make. That's why God created bosses, if you remember your Sunday School.

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The writers decision was to think only of themselves and walk off their jobs. I actually feel much worse for the innocent people connected with these productions that have lost their source of income as well. They don't have contracts or agents. What they do have is mounting bills that are starting to pile up. If best boys don't do their best work, they don't get their best paycheck. Many anonymous workers to you and I connected with programs being struck are not anonymous to their families or the bill collectors calling them as you read this. They're on strike too, but will never recoup the wages they're losing now. If a person makes $400 to $500 per week, that person has lost anywhere from $2,500 to $3,000 if the strike ended tomorrow. The strike won't end tomorrow and neither will their financial obligations or their kids need to eat.

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These poor people will have to, if not already, go out and find new jobs because some tv Shakespeares are throwing a tantrum. They don't care about anything or anyone but themselves. The inventor of the wheel reaps the reward, not the guys who use it. The user uses that wheel to in turn make his money and so on and so forth. Maybe the writers who find themselves with all this free time should figure out a way they can make money just like the producers did with dvds. I hope they figure it out and make billions of dollars from whatever they invent. Then they should make sure the producers don't see one red cent from it either. They may, however, want to give the best boys, secretaries and other workers hurt by this strike a little something for their troubles. Wait a second, I just remembered I'm a writer, right? Maybe I should stop writing right now so I can invent this thing to make me billions of dollars. Who knows, maybe I'll share the money with anybody who tells me how truly brilliant this Breaking Views Blog really is.....

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Can Huckabee be any Dumber? I Say He Can

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How appropriate in this season of gift giving that the early writings and theories of Governor Mike "Goober" Huckabee are finally seeing their first light of day. What should trigger an avalanche of imbecilic quotes and statements from the former morbidly obese Governor of Arkansas was reported over the weekend. It seems in 1992, the medical marvel opined that he was in favor of isolating AIDS patients from the general public. He then further stated that homosexuality could very well pose a dangerous public health risk. Can't you just picture Jesus Christ standing next to Huckabee pumping his fists in the air and whooping it up as Goober was advocating the placement of ill human beings into internment camps in order to keep them away from decent baptists like himself. Huckabee said that he made those statements at a time when little was known about the virus. Yeah exactly, never allow your total lack of knowledge on a subject prevent you from making definitive proclamations. "If I was making those same comments today, I might make them a little differently, but obviously I have to stand by what I said," he told reporters at a stop in Asheville, N.C. He might make them a little differently? Uh boy.

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"It's flattering that people now are digging back everything I ever wrote and ever said," he added. "And there must be something about my campaign that's catching on. But you know if the worst thing somebody can say about me is that 15 years ago I said that we need to be very careful about this transmission of disease, then I'm probably gonna be okay." Huckabee is proud and flattered to be considered an idiot? If that's true, his ego should soon be careening completely out of control. Huckabee made this brilliant remark to reporters during his unsuccessful run for the U.S. Senate in 1992. I often wonder why stupid people take pride in discussing their theories on subjects they know absolutely nothing about. I realize Huckabee was elected governor of Arkansas and is an ordained baptist minister, but whatever intellect he may or may not possess, is quickly disminished when he makes definitive statements on topics he's illiterate on.

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Minister Huckabee, not satisfied with coming across as ignorant on diseases he knew nothing about, decided to offer his opinions on other subjects he was equally clueless on.
"I feel homosexuality is an aberrant, unnatural, and sinful lifestyle, and we now know it can pose a dangerous public health risk." Huckabee still happy that people with no outward signs of inbreeding asked him more of these questions in 1992 as well. In another answer that could damage his standing in the presidential race, Huckabee felt that AIDS research was receiving an unfair amount of federal money. Instead, he said celebrities should pay for the research. Good point Jethro, the federal government should allocate all its tax payer dollars on wars and isolation compounds, rather than research to help its citizenry who become sick. I, myself think oncologists should fund cancer research because after all, they're the ones making the big bucks when people contract that disease. Huckabee finished his "let's see how the hillbilly answers this one" q & a session with his soon to be famous "manifesto illiterari" when he suggested that multimillionaire celebrities, such as Elizabeth Taylor, Madonna and others who are pushing for more AIDS funding be encouraged to give out of their own personal treasuries to provide said funding for AIDS research.

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Huckabee clearly thought through each one of these theories to the nth degree. I just get this mental image of Jesus rubbing his forehead and sighing as he wonders aloud why his most fervent supporters have their brains in their athletic supporters. Huckabee spends most of his time cherry picking quotes from Jesus and Ronald Reagan. When he's himself, he seems to be more like a pudgy, dumb redneck who wonders what ratio of beer to Slim Jims he can consume without spoiling his appetite for the delicious Spam and pickled pigs feet entree dinner on gourmet night at the diner out on route 47. Do you really want to live in a country that elects a president who is on the record advocating that actresses and singers fund research for deadly diseases? Once you tear down Huckabee's scripture spouting facade designed to influence religious fanatics, what do you have? You have a less than curious used car salesman, a carnival barker, a telephone solicitor and a fraud who espouses religion and compassion as he's taking your last dollar out of your pocket. Aren't we currently living that nightmare? Is a sequel really necessary?

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Huckabee's not even original. Governments have isolated segments of society ever since society had segments. Lepers were separated from the people. Christians were isolated with lions in ancient Rome. African-Americans were kind of isolated for a few hundred years in this country and many still are. The Puritans came to this country to celebrate religious freedom, but found witch burning so much more inclusive. Japanese-Americans, many of whom never came closer to Japanese soil than California, were locked in internment camps during World War II, and speaking of World War II, didn't that little Austrian wallpaper hanger isolate 6,000,000 Jews into relocation camps completely stocked with lethal gases? Senator Joseph McCarthy overturned every rock expecting to find communists eradicating our freedom. These aren't the only examples but just a brief overview of the art of isolation. The great thing about religion is the way it brings people together by excluding or isolating others that don't share your faith. It's not easy to call somebody a bigoted hypocrite when he's thrusting his bible in your face. Well, actually it's very easy and personally rewarding for me. Evil stupidity can only flourish when the majority stands by and does nothing. I don't do that, I do this. It won't change the Huckabees of the world, but it helps illuminate how dumb they truly are. I predict Mike Huckabee will never be President of the United States. You know why? The Huck isn't deceptive enough. He's not evil enough and most importantly, he isn't dumb enough. George W. Bush was deceptive, evil and dumb enough to be president. Mike Huckabee is no George W. Bush. His porch lights are turned off and it's time for his bed. Goodnight, good luck and goodbye, Mike.....

Monday, December 10, 2007

My God Can Kick Your God's Ass!

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I'm anxiously waiting for an announcement any day now from my satellite provider, that for the low, low price of $54.95 plus all applicable federal and state taxes, the good Christians among us will stage their first annual "My God Can Kick Your God's Assapalooza." Seriously, does that sound any more ridiculous than the current field of republican presidential hopefuls beating the cornfields of Iowa and the bucolic pastures of New Hampshire claiming to be Jesus' co-pilot and top choice to occupy the White House in 2009? My head is still vibrating in response to Willard "Mitt" Romney's groundbreaking, or was it wind breaking, vision of modern day political ecclesiastics. I don't intend to direct my disdain solely towards Willard. With Mike Huckabee, Fred Thompson, John McCain and Rudy Giuliani lurking around the same Kool-aid trough, there's plenty of other opportunistic hypocrites to ridicule as well.I'm sad to report that one of these zagnut bars actually has an even chance to be elected President of the United States in approximately 11 months.

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Willard "Mitt" has spent a great portion of his valuable time clarifying his personal beliefs on religion. This could not have been easy. Mitt and his team of highly paid consultants and advisers first had to establish what Mitt's personal beliefs even are. This was done the way everything is done on Team Romney. You do comprehensive internal polling to determine how the majority of potential voters feel, thereby determining how you, yourself feel. Willard is a Mormon. This specific religion is known in the business as The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Try to say that really fast three times in a row. The Flip-Flopper extraordinaire originally decided to avoid discussing his biblical heritage because quite frankly, it's a major downer to the evangelical wing of the republican party. Religion is only important when it positively impacts your candidacy, not when the opposite occurs. Don't worry Governor Goober Huckabee, we're getting to you next.

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As you may or may not know at present, former Arkansas Governor, Mike Huckabee has recently emerged as a player in the republican presidential campaign. Why is that? Because of his overall breathtaking intellect, his knowledge and experience dealing with potential hot spots around the world, his demonstrative grasp of key domestic issues facing American life or maybe is it the fact that he comes across as an affable, plain talking country bumpkin who uses his status as an ordained baptist minister to attract the mouth breathing droolers who are led around by their Christian tails. Preacher Huckabee was smart enough to finally realize that in order to have a chance at winning his party's nomination, he had to find an angle. That angle in this case turns out to be every politician's best friend, Jesus Christ. You don't have to know what the National Intelligence Estimate (NIE) is as long as your love for Jesus supplants your lack of national intelligence knowledge. Huckabee's stock has risen in the polls as Romney's fell. Both men are empty political suits, so what caused this flip-flop of fortune? Maybe the fact that there's a lot more Baptists being polled, than Mormons?

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Mainly due to the fact that the dumbest and most deceitful chief executive in history is nearly seven years into his presidency, the United States now faces perils at home and abroad that once seemed unimaginable. We're repeatedly told how we're winning the war on terrorism, but it's hard to celebrate our victory when airport baggage screeners are confiscating our four ounce bottles of mouthwash and how we need a photo ID just so we can pay money to watch Britney Spears drunkenly lip sync a rhythmic din, her sycophants laughingly refer to as music. There's so many internal problems that have been ignored or incompetently dealt with since 2001. Have Americans really become so narrow minded and short sighted that we would succumb to brainwashed acceptance of baseless theocratic beliefs to determine who our next president will be? Think intellectually for one brief moment before reading the final paragraph of this post about how an alarming percentage of citizens of the greatest, most powerful and once best educated country in history are prepared to vote for a president because they're being duped by bible thumping lunatics.

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Ask yourself what does Mitt Romney, Mike Huckabee or the candidate of your choice stand for? Rudy Giuliani was mayor of New York when the planes crashed into the Twin Towers. He claims that makes him an expert in homeland security. Hopefully his skills in that regard won't do for the U.S. what it did for New York on 9/11. He's a serial divorcer and wife cheater whose own kids hate him. No wonder Pat Robertson is endorsing Rudy Family-Values. He's the only politician who comparatively makes Robertson almost appear human. John McCain was a POW 40 years ago. He's past 70 years of age and he's always described as a maverick. He was vehemently opposed to everything evangelical sock puppets espoused, until the top one of them, the late Jerry Falwell, invited him to appear on his show to do a 180 degree turn.. McCain did that and everything else Falwell asked except lick himself and roll over. Fred Thompson should stick to portraying politicians on TV as opposed to being them in real life. Time for bed, Fred. What a roster of unlimited talent. Following George W. Bush and Dick Cheney, this was the best the republican party could do? I realize the field of democrats has flaws as well, but compared to this group, any democrat seems like a magnificent gem. I know, I know, Hillary is a democrat, but at least she panders to a much more secular group of agnostics. You see, they're the anti-Christians in this equation. Agnostics don't claim their God can kick your God's ass because they don't even know if there even is a God and what kind of ass kicker he would be if he indeed exists.........

Saturday, December 8, 2007

Cash Advance $1500

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Friday, December 7, 2007

Dying at the Hand of a Punk Really Sucks

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What is it specifically that transforms a human being blessed with unlimited potential into a despicable punk damned with unlimited evil? Sean Taylor, a 24 year old professional football player for the Washington Redskins and father of an infant daughter, was senselessly shot and murdered last week when four gutless punks with a gun broke into his home in a Miami, Florida suburb. The punks ranging in age from 17 to 20 were arrested last week about 100 miles northwest of the scene of the crime. According to local police in Miami-Dade County, the fabulous foursome's specific intent was to burglarize what they thought was an unoccupied house. But when they discovered that was clearly not the case, they did what any of self respecting gutless punks with a gun would do, they cowardly shot a man in his own home. Despite being shot in the leg, the bullet struck Taylor's femoral artery which caused massive blood loss and was the ultimate cause of death.

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The type of wound suffered by Taylor is among the most difficult to fix, trauma experts said Tuesday after the 24-year-old gunshot victim died in a Miami hospital. The body has two femoral arteries that branch off from about mid-abdomen into each thigh. They are among the body’s biggest vessels, and in the groin area and upper thigh, are about as big around as an index finger. Stopping blood loss gushing from a bullet hole in that region can be extremely challenging if the wound is close to the groin. It would be hard to put a tourniquet around it, said Dr. Gannon Dudlar, an emergency medicine specialist at the University of Illinois Medical Center in Chicago. An injury of this type “essentially means you can lose all the blood in your whole body within five minutes,” said Dr. Mary Pat McKay, director of George Washington University’s Center for Injury Prevention and Control. Rapid blood loss can prevent oxygen from reaching the brain and vital organs, leading to death.

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What adds a touch of irony to this sad story is that one of the four suspects mowed Taylor’s lawn and was also paid to do other yard work for him. The suspect, Charles Wardlow, attended a birthday party at Taylor’s house recently for Taylor’s sister, Tasha Johnson, who happens to date Wardlow’s cousin. Under Florida law, anyone who commits a violent felony in which a death occurs can face a murder charge. Police report that multiple suspect’s have confessed and they are still trying to determine which one of the four worms actually shot and killed Sean Taylor. Regardless of who pulled the trigger causing Taylor's death, each suspect potentially can be charged with multiple felonies including murder, armed home invasion for the purpose of committing a burglary and firearm violations with the potential of a death sentence or life in prison with no parole.

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According to public defenders assigned to legally represent them, they are all terrified. Unlike Sean Taylor, however, they're all alive. Taylor must have been terrified too. What normal human being wouldn't be. He's asleep in his own bed with his girlfriend and 18 month daughter nearby in the middle of the night. He was awakened by a noise that I'm sure he realized was potentially life threatening and boom, at least three of the suspects burst in through his bedroom door and shot Taylor where he stood. I have to wonder how much additional courage a handgun in your possession provides. Is this what the framers of the constitution had in mind when they ratified the 2nd amendment back in 1789? “A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed". Were these four punks the type of individuals they had in mind for maintaining our well regulated militia? I would be willing to debate anybody who disagrees that if these guys didn't have a handgun in their possession, they would have been significantly more likely to wet their pants in a physical confrontation and run away, as opposed to initiating a physical attack.

A disturbingly large percentage of the United States population fancies themselves as tough guys and big talkers. It's been my experience, the more a guy talks tough, the bigger the pussy cat he truly is when action is required to resolve the verbal dispute. Anybody can fire a gun, it's the great equalizer. Most of the so called proponents of the 2nd amendment don't even know what its intent is beyond the fact they can go down to the gun store and buy all the guns their little hearts desire, using monies left over from their beer and beef jerky funds. Life is just another episode of a bad movie or tv show where I suppose some of you believe Sean Taylor could have whipped out a 357 magnum and blown the four punks to hell and back. Perhaps there may have been additional shooting and his girlfriend and baby daughter could have been struck too? Gun control, like abortion, are two arguments that will never be resolved. As long as we allow ourselves to believe we're all gunslingers and protectors of the unborn, nothing will change. I would like to live my life without some heavily armed nutball idiot nearby imposing his personal beliefs on me. Maybe if more people felt that way, Sean Taylor's 18 month daughter would have shared in her father's joyous life rather than missing out due to her father's senseless death........

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Bush Says Iran Is Still a Threat? No It's Him!

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President George W. Bush and his handlers decided the time was right for the Intellectual Vacuum-in-Chief to once again spin yarn at one of his propaganda filled session of lies and deceptions, also known as a press conference, on Tuesday morning at the White House. Iran remains a threat to the world despite new intelligence saying the country may not be building nuclear weapons, the president says. Mr Bush said the report released on Monday was a "warning signal" and his view that a nuclear Iran would be a danger "hasn't changed". Bush always prefers a self serving lie to contravene the truth when it serves his purpose. Bush has chosen to completely ignore the fact that his own National Intelligence Estimate (NIE) released a report on Monday showing convincing evidence Iran discontinued it's nuclear weapons program back in the fall of 2003 . The report is the combined efforts of the 16 US intelligence agencies, and thus represents the most authoritative assessment of the intelligence gathering in the United States.

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That finding is in stark contrast to the comparable intelligence estimate of just two years ago, when U.S. intelligence agencies believed Tehran was determined to develop a nuclear weapons capability and was continuing its weapons development program. It is also stood in marked contrast to Bush's rhetoric on Iran. At his last news conference on Oct. 17th, for instance, he said that people "interested in avoiding World War III" should be working to prevent Iran from having the knowledge needed to make a nuclear weapon. Bush said Tuesday that he only learned of the new intelligence assessment last week. But he portrayed it as valuable ammunition against Tehran, not as a reason to lessen diplomatic pressure. Nobody disputes the fact that George W. Bush completely lacks intellectual curiosity but his claim that he just learned Iran disbanded its nuclear weapon program more than four years ago makes Bush seem like he's either the dumbest or most deceitful person or both on earth. I vote both.

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This news should not be downplayed. Bush is such a dangerous psychopath, a comprehensive liar and a manipulative war criminal, that the congress should begin impeachment proceedings against him immediately. Bush has murdered nearly 4,000 innocent soldiers in Iraq. He was angling to attack Iran based on virtually the same lies. He turns Americans against each other by using the safety of the very troops he is killing as his props. I seriously question Bush's sanity and ability to serve out his term. How can any rational person believe a word that comes out his mouth? Look one pace behind him and there's Dick "Puppet Master" Cheney. Neither of them have an ounce of respect for the American people and yet we're supposed to respect them. I don't believe in telling people what they should believe or how they should act, but if you trust Bush, you're too STUPID to reason with.

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To a lesser degree, but an indication of further evidence as to what a despicable, unfeeling human being Bush is, was his response to a question regarding the Saudi Arabian woman convicted of instigating her own gang rape. Bush was asked if he spoke to Saudi Arabia's King Abdullah. Mr. Bush told reporters that he would have been very emotional if his own daughter had endured such treatment. He said he would also have been angry at those who committed the crime and at a country that did not support the victim. I wonder why he isn't this emotional about other peoples' sons and daughters dying in Iraq. Bush claimed he didn't remember if he discussed the sentence with the King or not. I guess he lies so often, it's difficult to catalog and recall each and every one of them.

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Who is George W. Bush? The fact he doesn't have a brain, the fact he doesn't have a heart and the fact he doesn't have any courage doesn't earn him a trip to meet the wizard. He's also a flightless monkey, a windbag and a wicked witch too. Sometimes I get legitimately fired up when I talk about George W Bush. I'm appalled a person like him can be the president of the United States. It bothers me he took office in 2000 and again in 2004. I think both victories were the end result of massive fraud and deceit but the democrats better learn to compete on this level or they will forever win silver medals in presidential elections. All too many people are obsessed with religion, abortion and who they wanna drink beers with. Maybe we should place more emphasis on intellect, trustworthiness and not drinking a beer with a reckless alcoholic with DUI convictions. That's something Ill drink to.......

Monday, December 3, 2007

Rudy Giuliani is the Real Italian Stallion!

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In the words of legendary entertainer, Ricky Ricardo, presidential hopeful Rudy Giuliani has a lot of "splainin" to do. It seems the 9/11 savior of the free world, in his capacity as New York City mayor, billed obscure city agencies for tens of thousands of dollars in security expenses amassed during the time when he was beginning an extramarital relationship with future wife Judith Nathan in a posh section of eastern Long Island known as the Hamptons, according to previously undisclosed government records. The documents, obtained by under New York’s Freedom of Information Law, show that the mayoral costs had nothing to do with the functions of the little-known city offices that defrayed his tabs, including agencies responsible for regulating loft apartments, aiding the disabled and providing lawyers for indigent defendants.

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The expenses first surfaced as Giuliani's two terms as mayor of New York drew to a close in 2001, when a city auditor stumbled across something unusual: $34,000 worth of travel expenses buried in the accounts of the New York City Loft Board. When the city's fiscal monitor asked for an explanation, Giuliani's aides refused, citing "security," said Jeff Simmons, a spokesman for the city comptroller. Apparently New York City's budget failed to provide for the mayor's extramarital dalliances and subsequent finances necessary to defray costs and provide clandestine cover for testosterone induced conferences and affairs of state on taxpayers' dimes. But bills obtained from American Express and travel documents obtained by Politico suggest another reason City Hall may have considered the documents sensitive: They detail three summers of visits to Southampton, the Long Island town where Nathan coincidently had an apartment.

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Auditors "were unable to verify that these expenses were for legitimate or necessary purposes," City Comptroller William Thompson wrote of the expenses from fiscal year 2000, which covers parts of 1999 and 2000. We must be left to assume that drafters of the New York City annual budget failed to provide expense reimbursement for the mayor squiring around his whore while his wife and two children spent their summers in less extravagant locations. The receipts tally the costs of hotel and gas bills for the police detectives who traveled everywhere with the mayor, according to cover sheets that label them “PD expenses” and travel authorizations that describe the trips. A Giuliani aide, who would speak only on the condition of anonymity, denied that the unorthodox billing practices were aimed at hiding the expenses, citing "accounting" and noting that they were billed to units of the mayor's office and not to outside city agencies. Of course, what self respecting politician would want to hide the fact he was cheating on his second wife with a woman angling to become his third wife?

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Receipts show him in Southampton every weekend in August and the first weekend in September of 2001, before the terror attacks of Sept. 11 disrupted the routines of his city. Thank God the terrorists had the common courtesy to attack New York on one of the rare summer days Rudy had pants on. I guess Rudy's "in" with God as to when to be practicing extramarital fornication and when to be zipped up impressed Televangelist Pat Robertson into supporting the bald lothario for president. I guess now that Rudy no longer supports gun control, abortions, safe houses for undocumented workers and dressing in women's clothing, he is ready to condemn married men preforming immoral acts without their wife in attendance. They got you, Rudy. There's going to be more to come. You're just a small time hypocrite with big time ambition.

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There's an old expression about being nice to people on the way up because you're probably going to need them on the way back down. You're simply a corrupt mayor. Sadly your face just happened to be in the right place when 9/11 exploded upon the scene. I give you credit only for knowing how to capitalize on the misery of others and use it to catapult an average little man into a man who thought he could be president. The only thing that could stop Rudy in an extraordinarily weak field was Rudy, and by God he did it. This instance alone won't do it, but it's yet another straw on the back of this hump. Wait and see, there will be one revelation after another as the primary and caucus season begins in a month. Americans may not be geniuses when it comes to electing politicians, but they're smart enough to smell the over ripe carcass of a cheap huckster. George W. Bush got away with it because nobody thought he was smart enough to be so deceitful. Rudy Giuliani won't get away with it because everybody sees that he is.....

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