Friday, November 9, 2007

Pompous Preacher Picks Pompous Politico!

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Just when it seems politics and religion can't become any more ridiculous, Pat Robertson and Rudy Giuliani team up to demonstrate in the clearest of terms that it can. The Pat and Rudy show made its debut on Wednesday morning with the announcement that the brain cell deprived preacher was endorsing America's [sic] Brayer for president. Rudy immediately added the word evangelical to his stump speech. That term will be Rudy's noun to go along with his verb and his mention of 9/11 in every speech he gives from this moment forth. I initially thought what an unlikely duo these two make. But after some reflection, I realize how much these two bags of bologna have in common. Primarily, they're both pathological and compulsive liars. Pat spends way too much time talking to God and Rudy spends way too much time talking on the cell phone to his wife during speeches he makes around the country. Pat likes to explain every catastrophic event in the world as God's way of retributions against people he and Pat both hate. Rudy is on the verge of admitting he water boarded every organized crime family member into confessing felonious activities so that he was able to transform New York City into Emerald City. Pat Robertson has uttered far too many stupid remarks for one article, so I've culled through them and come up a "Best of" tribute to Pat.

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One of my favorites was Pat agreeing with the then alive but now dead Jerry Falwell following the 9/11 attacks in New York City. You might want to hear this one Rudy. Following the Sept. 11 attacks, "I really believe that the pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People For the American Way -- all of them who have tried to secularize America -- I point the finger in their face and say: "You helped this happen." I wonder if mayors who are on their third wife, support abortions, have two kids who loathe him, who support homosexuals and frequently dress in women's clothing may have helped guide those planes into the towers as well?

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LOOK OUT, GOD'S COMING AND HE LOOKS MAD

"Lord, give us righteous judges who will not try to legislate and dominate this society. Take control, Lord! We ask for additional vacancies on the court." Pat apparently was encouraging God to put out a "HIT" on Supreme Court Justices he didn't agree with.

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WHICH ONE AGAIN IS FALWELL?

"Just like what Nazi Germany did to the Jews, so liberal America is now doing to the evangelical Christians. It's no different. It is the same thing. It is happening all over again. It is the Democratic Congress, the liberal-based media and the homosexuals who want to destroy the Christians. Wholesale abuse and discrimination and the worst bigotry directed toward any group in America today. More terrible than anything suffered by any minority in history." The Nazi's killed 6,000,000 Jews through long term starvation and death in gas chambers. Pat, ease up on the hallucinogenic mushrooms.

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"I would warn Orlando that you're right in the way of some serious hurricanes, and I don't think I'd be waving those flags in God's face if I were you, This is not a message of hate -- this is a message of redemption. But a condition like this will bring about the destruction of your nation. It'll bring about terrorist bombs; it'll bring earthquakes, tornadoes, and possibly a meteor." –Pat Robertson, on "gay days" at Disneyworld. Now God is putting out a HIT at America's number one theme park. Is God a bully or what?

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FEMINISM CAN CAUSE THIS? OH MY.

"The feminist agenda is not about equal rights for women. It is about a socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians." Hmmm. feminism turns happy, healthy women into husband leaving, child murdering lesbian witches? I better keep my chicks masculine.

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THIS IS INTERNET PORNOGRAPHY

"God considers this land to be his. You read the Bible and he says 'This is my land,' and for any prime minister of Israel who decides he is going to carve it up and give it away, God says, 'No, this is mine.' ... He was dividing God's land. And I would say, 'Woe unto any prime minister of Israel who takes a similar course to appease the E.U., the United Nations, or the United States of America.' God says, 'This land belongs to me. You better leave it alone.'" --Pat Robertson, on why Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon suffered a massive stroke. So sometimes God doesn't kill people, he just incapacitates them mentally. I guess this explains what happened to you, Pat.

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EVANGELICAL POSTER GIRL

Great endorsement, Rudy. Have you looked into who Charles Manson and Osama bin Laden are supporting?







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