Monday, February 18, 2008

2nd Amendment - Right to Shoot Mouth Off!


Guns, Sex, Rock n Roll and Jesus. Wouldn't that make a much better greeting from Lady Liberty than that tired old "Give us your poor, your tired, your huddled masses longing to be free" crap? Seeing as most immigrants nowadays enter the United States over, under and through fences protecting our sovereign border with Mexico anyway, what possible difference could it make. It seems that the once most recognizable symbol of freedom the world over is little more than a prime target for explosives carrying terrorists these days. Fortunately for us, however, we are a civilized nation of 300 million patriots, ready to defend the Ellis Island landmark at the drop of a hat. We certainly have the capability to do so, because we're also a nation that has 280 million guns in circulation. That's right Tex. Give us your hand guns, your shotguns, your automatic rifles, your rocket propelled grenade launchers, your bazookas longing to kill and maim. That's not exactly true, however. People aren't giving anybody their guns. In fact, they're buying more guns at a rate higher than babies are being born. The United States will soon have more guns than it does citizens. Doesn't that make you feel blissfully safe and secure in your home with your spouse, 2.4 children and five deadbolt locks on every door?

How much hypocrisy is required to refer to yourself as a pillar of morality, a God fearing humble Christian, a protector of the unborn and a guy with enough guns and ammunition to invade and capture Guam? We have something in this country much better than hypocrisy, we have the second amendment to the Constitution. You constitutional scholars are very familiar with this addition to the US Constitution ratified in 1791, that states as follows:
“A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed." Simply put, I can own me all the guns I wants. People who couldn't tell you the difference between the constitution and prostitution (ie. George W. Bush) know all they need to know. They have the constitutionally protected and guaranteed right to hunt varmints armed only with their wits, an uzi and a six pack of colt 45 malt liquor. Some people even believe they can go to a local high school or college campus and randomly shoot students and faculty in the head with their legally purchased guns.

The latest but certainly not the last example of this expression of freedom took place on Valentines Day at Northern Illinois University. This is the academic home to 25,000 students in DeKalb, Illinois about 65 miles west of Chicago. It seems a former student dressed in black opened fire with a shotgun and two handguns from the stage of a lecture hall killing five students and injuring 16 others before committing suicide, authorities said. The gunman, Steven Kazmierczak, 27, a one-time undergraduate and award-winning sociology graduate student at NIU, was "revered by faculty and staff," and gave "no indication that this was the type of person who would engage in this activity," said campus Police Chief Donald Grady. Kazmierczak, dressed in black, was armed with three handguns and a shotgun, as students took cover beneath desks and ran out of the lecture hall. He was later found dead from a self-inflicted gunshot wound, police said. Kazmierczak bought two weapons Saturday — a Remington 12-gauge shotgun and a 9 mm Glock pistol — at a gun store in Champaign, Ill. From the same firearms dealer, he obtained a Hi Point 380 pistol on Dec. 30, 2007 and an SIG Sauer 9 mm pistol on Aug. 6, 2007. Kazmierczak had no police record, allowing him to qualify to buy the guns under the state's gun laws, sources said. I'm sure the fact all four weapons were purchased legally are of great comfort to the victims' families and friends.

Now comes the classic NRA argument that guns don't kill people, people kill people. Call me an anarchist, but I don't think this psychotic punk from Illinois, or that sick bastard at Virginia Tech, the Columbine High School misfits or too many to count other senseless murders would have taken place at all if the killers were not heavily armed with legally purchased, second amendment protected guns. These guys had more actual weapons than Saddam had weapons of mass destruction. But as one time NRA President and current Alzheimer victim Charlton Heston said after a five year old boy shot a five year old girl to death, "From my cold dead hands." That was the only way you could take his gun away from him. His sanity went with much less of a fight it would seem. Chuck uttered that immortal line at a pro gun rally in the home town of the five year old girl days after she was shot and buried. The first amendment protected that moment of mass stupidity as well.

What really can you say? You can say Americans love guns so much so in fact, they would kill anybody trying to legally challenge their rights as gun owners. Truth be told, most gun owners would wet their pants and shoot off their own toes before they gun down a "perp" invading their castle. But lack of toes are a minor inconvenience when balanced by the right to bear arms. More murders are committed in the USA every year than all civilized countries worldwide combined. The authors of the constitution realized this was a brand spanking new country. The citizens needed to protect themselves from foreign aggressors out of necessity rather than the need to feel macho. They needed to hunt for food, not for bragging rights and beer. They were fighting for their very survival, not at students attending a lecture in Dekalb, Illinois or Blacksburg, Virginia. Guns don't kill people? Yeah they do. Nobody enters a lecture hall to kill and wound dozens of people armed only with their wits. Vice Presidents don't chicken out of going to war because of the fear of getting shot, then mistaking a 78 year old man for a small bird with a slingshot. Nobody breaks into your house and rips your gun from your shaking hand and shoots you dead for $20 in cash and a gold necklace without having a gun.

This weekend, I bet gun shops did big business selling more guns to more people to protect more second amendment rights. You want to protect yourself from being shot? Get rid of your guns. Then you can sit back and laugh at all the tough guys shooting off their mouths instead of you going to the emergency room having to explain how you shot off your toes....

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