Wednesday, August 15, 2007

President Forrest STUMP to Set Record!

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The world should collectively take a sigh of relief knowing that while the leader of the free world is vacationing yet again, he is performing hard work as well. George W. Bush, aka "The hardest working man in Politics" as of last week, (before this present vacation even began), had spent all or part of 418 days vacationing/working in Crawford, Texas. You know Crawford, the place that's rife with tree stumps to a point that only a hand's on guy like our president can clear them. President Forest Stump is scheduled to be busy vacationing in Crawford until Labor Day. The significance of this particular vacation, er working vacation, is one for the record books.

Ronald Reagan, another in our nation's proud history of working/vacationing presidents, earned the distinction of setting the ALL TIME RECORD for working/vacation days at a seemingly unreachable 436 days. Bush however, never one to shy away from a challenge (unless it involved serving in Vietnam or passing up a drink) with this latest well deserved break from his 2 hour workdays, will obliterate Reagan's awe inspiring record. You have to give Bush credit, unlike some other recent record breaker, he's accomplishing this momentous feat without tainting the record by using steroids or even human growth hormones.

What's even more impressive, is the fact that Bush still has approximately 500 more days in which to take even more vacations. This will set the bar so high, future presidents will be left only to shake their heads and pay homage to "The Vacation Decider." George W. Bush, after all, is the man who coined the expression, "When the going gets tough, the tough go on vacation." Bush is currently enjoying his 65th trip to Crawford in the 79th month of his presidency. I realize that falls short of one trip per month, but never fear, Bush has spent many 3 and 4 day weekends in Camp David. That's located in the Maryland woods, so I have to assume there are many stumps in need of clearing there as well. Let's also never forget that when it appeared this country might be under foreign attack on September 11, 2001, Bush was helped to his feet in that Florida classroom while vacationing with his brother. He then parlayed the attack into yet another vacation in which he cowered underground in Nebraska until all possible signs of danger were laid to rest. Much later, he finally poked his little head above ground (ala the prairie dog), and only then, in the better late than never style, skulked back to the White House to thump his chest with his now infamous, Chicken Hawk Machismo.

Sometimes you have to laugh simply so you don't cry when you think of the state of disrepair this country has fallen into under the Bush administration. I would think so many Americans who voted for Bush have to question their very sanity as to what they were thinking when they cast their ballots on those 2 fateful days in Novembers past. You would be hard pressed to find any people who don't work much harder than this president. In fact, many are working 2 or 3 jobs just to afford a few measly days of vacation per year. They're not thinking about stump clearing safaris in exotic locales like Crawford, but just a few days with their families, the people that matter most. Maybe the real problem in this country is that WE THE PEOPLE simply don't get enough VACATIONS. If all hard working citizens got the same amount of annual vacation time as their elected leaders, maybe we would be able to make better decisions in the future, when choosing said leaders. This should then allow us the time to clear our minds, as well as our stumps.....

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