Monday, January 21, 2008

My God, Evangelicals are Dumb-bellicals!


George Washington was always associated with never telling a lie. Jerry Falwell was always associated with never telling the truth. So as to who is the liar; my money is riding on Four Chin Falwell as opposed to the Father of our Country. I'm often confused as to what forces out there continue to perpetuate this obsessive, compulsive disorder known as evangelicalism, that a limited but vocal percentage of this country suffers from. The dictionary defines evangelicals as being in agreement with the Christian gospel. Also with emphasizing salvation by faith in the atoning death of Jesus Christ through personal conversion, the authority of Scripture, and the importance of preaching as contrasted with ritual. At first glance, an individual capable of thinking for oneself would assume the Christian gospel is a combination of bigotry, intolerance and narrow minded stupidity. But the Christian gospel is defined as glad tidings, good news, welcome information, a shout, or something that makes oft sing, talk or rejoice. Hmmm, that comes across as a rather ambiguous explanation. It would seem one would have the latitude to define his or her own specific acts as to their code of behavior.

But in today's evangelical movement, there doesn't seem to be any room for individual vagaries. Individualism is practiced only in a group setting. One's freedom of expression is manifested by participating in a follow the leader mindset of a child, Nazi Party zealot or George W. Bush devotee. What kool-aid additive turns an expansive religious concept into a close minded cult? I do understand and support the rights of people with similar interests to co-mingle together for the common good. This happens in class action lawsuits, homeowner association disputes and under Article III, Amendment I of the U.S. Constitution protecting the rights of strippers to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances. These grievances often include archaic lap dancing laws taking place in the presidential champaign room at your local dancer's emporium. But I digress.

We will soon be entering the meat of the 2008 presidential primary season to select an individual we want to lead the country in lieu of drinking a beer with. Unless you were born with a catastrophic brain disorder or haven't been "quite right" since Uncle Jethro's horse kicked you in the head a few times, you simply have to acknowledge that seven years into the reign of George W. Bush, life is not as rosy as in past years. It's true that a record number of homes have HDTV's and Wii's. But it's also true, that a record number of homes have already gone through or will soon be going through the foreclosure process due to shortsighted economic policies. The one time tax break the idiot-in-chief is proposing might get you a new pair of Nikes, but it's not going to put a dent in the rapidly expanding $9 trillion deficit. So clearly, we need to think as individuals about the direction our country is heading rather than as a mere dram in the evangelical spit bucket of life.

Think about it. Evangelical organizations have LEADERS that expect you to pay homage to them more than to the spiritual force that allegedly led you there in the first place. If you closely examine influences of religions from all over the world, the single most dominant factor in each, is the exclusion of those not exactly the same. How can you evangelicals display a straight face and claim to oppose human cloning when your behavior parrots everyone in proximity? Just by your organized, repetitive claims your religion is not like that, you're simultaneously proving that it is. The one factor all of these cult like religions have in common is you all fervently believe your way is not just the best way, but the only way. Remember, while your making this very claim, so is every other psychopathic order in the world. Frankly I'm surprised there isn't a flock of evangelical suicide bombers in the United States yet. Ever spent a month in Iowa or Arkansas on an average day? Strapping a bomb to your back and walking off a cliff sounds like a terrific alternative to being part of an off-off Broadway cast of the "Stepford Wives Scream Suey."

If you're truly a Christian believer, than the most renowned liberal of all time was Jesus Christ. Websters Dictionary defines a liberal as a person who is open minded and not strict in the observance of orthodox, traditional, or established forms or ways. I can't picture Jesus leading a protest to ban gays from the military, or by banning them from getting married either. You good evangelicals should look around you and root out the gay members of your church and banish them to Hell or maybe Greenwich Village in lower Manhattan. At least 15% of the population is gay. So unless you're totally delusional or Mahmoud Ahmaninejad, be very aware your church has gay members (no pun intended). Be an individual and live a life worthy of the best aspects of humanity rather than the worst. Vote for the best candidate to lead your country by secular abilities as opposed to quoting irrelevant scriptures of exclusion. In the Magnificat, there is a phrase attributed to Jesus that says Become what you behold. Remember what we first learned as children. We're often judged by the company we keep, so if you continue keeping company with narrow minded dumbbells.......

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