Sunday, January 27, 2008

Bill Clinton, Hail to the Philanderer-in-Chief

The 42nd President of the United States is seeking a return engagement to the White House. This time, however, he claims he'll be willing to return in the co-starring role of "The First Laddie." Yeah, sure you will Billy boy. Power hungry, egomaniacal, publicity craving pigs like you don't back away from the trough of politics. They also don't go gentle into that good night that Dylan Thomas so aptly raged about either. Bill can still taste the smoky stench emanating from the Monica Lewinski Memorial Oval Office and Free Clinic. As you read this post, you can safely assume Hillary's unleashed "pit bill" is roaming free from his latest seven year itch of encumbrance by sizing up the next generation of future Clintonettes. He wants Hillary in the White House more than I want a Porsche Carrera GT in the garage. I began wondering what his motivation was and I think I may have come up with a few plausible theories.

The most obvious reason was the fact that Bill is a true and loyal husband. I defy any human being, including Steven Wright, from reading that previous sentence and not giggling out loud like a schoolgirl. The former hound dog-in-chief never allowed the sanctity of marriage curb his apettite for all the types of bimbos that walk the earth. We have heard ad nauseum and read about his adoration of Gennifer Flowers, Paula Jones, Arkansas prostitute extraordinaire Bobbie Ann Williams, Susan McDougal and of course the legendary humidor herself, Monica Lewinski. These are just a few of the documented indiscretions Bill has taken part in. Undeniably you are forced to acknowledge simply by employing the law of averages, that if he was caught this often, the good husband and father must have pulled off some successfully quiet dalliances over the years. Bill is a loyal husband much in the same way George W. Bush is a Yale undergraduate and Harvard trained MBA. Something that's simply called in name only.

Clinton has theoretically kept his favorite hobby sheathed in his shorts while subtly assassinating Hillary's chief rival's character in as hypocritcal a manner as I've ever seen. Ever since Senator Obama cleaned Hillary's clock in Iowa, Billy C. has emerged and ripped him for being too young and inexperienced to be president, for interjecting race into the race and for having the audacity to cite Ronald Reagan's name in an interview. As for age and experience, Bill Clinton took the oath of office as 42nd president when he was 46 years and five months old. When Obama takes his oath of office, he will be 47 years and 5 months old. My math skills indicate that's a full year older. As for experience, being the governor of a highly sophisticated and over achieving intellectually minded state like Arkansas is mighty impressive, but living all over the world and representing Chicago in the Illinois Senate before becoming the junior US Senator from that same state is at least equally impressive.

As for talk of racial divisiveness, Obama has been accused of being everything from not black enough to being too black. To his great credit he refused to even acknowledge those ridiculous statements by even commenting on them. Both Clintons of late have tag teamed Obama for everything from dividing America to exploiting Martin Luther King. While Bill likes to joke he was the first "black president", he seems to forget in actuality he's simply a philandering white dude from Arkansas. The latest Clinton attack was the result of an Obama interview with the Reno Gazette-Journal. Obama said that Ronald Reagan “changed the trajectory of America,” and said Americans “want clarity, we want optimism, we want a return to that sense of dynamism and entrepreneurship.” The Clintons and their commandos heard the name Reagan and started screaming like they were whining, hysterical infants. So much screaming in fact, Bill came down with a case of amnesia regarding a 1991 interview he did while he was running for president. Clinton noted that Reagan's policies were very much responsible for the fall of the Soviet Union. Obama credited Reagan with restoring optimism after the dark days of the late 70's. He never credited him with his politics or policies like Clinton specifically did 17 years earlier.

Many political pundits assert the Clintons are doing this to reopen the racial scab this country is still attempting to recover from. They go on to add that Team Clinton wants to lose South Carolina because of the citizenry voting primarily along racial lines. This will make Americans forget Obama won the Iowa Caucus where 94% of the population is white. If they can split the nation along racial barriers, simple math will assure and secure Hillary being the nominee of the democratic party. It's typical today that politics can be rough and dirty. But if you're willing to pile on and exploit the divide already in place in this country, it makes me wonder if there's anything the Clintons wouldn't do to win. There is rough and tough and dirty and despicable. What the Clintons are doing is beyond both of those categories. It makes Karl Rove look like a sissy. Yes, I know he truly does look like the poster boy of sissies, but you know what I mean.

In Saturday's South Carolina Primary, the Palmetto State spoke out loudly and clearly. They emphatically rejected the Clintons' scorched earth policy by overwhelmingly voting for Barack Obama and propelling him by a more than two to one margin over Hillary Clinton. Obama received more than 55% of the total vote compared to Clinton's 27% and John Edwards 18%. African Americans, as predicted, did overwhelmingly support Obama by a four to one margin. But to the pollster's surprise, "whitey" support for Obama was approximately 25% or two and one half times greater than predicted all week. So the Clinton master plan hit a major speed bump. There are still many battles ahead, however, before victory can be declared. It's now up to the voters to decide if they wish to reward the Clintons back to the past philosophy or instead, look to the future by supporting Barack Obama and telling the Clintons "bite me". They can't do so from their homes or from their favorite bars. They have to do it at their assigned polling place. Let's hope the future is not a return to the past........


blogtommy said...

Well said. As a long time Clinton supporter, I've had to think long and hard as to what is different now. I've come to the conclusion that the roles have reversed. Before when Billy took a punch he'd punch back, if at all possible, harder. Now he looks like a school yard bully and really isn't doing the Dems any favor, but he really always was about going it his way. As an Obama supporter now, if he stays out of the muck and mire that is Clintonian politics, he has a chance. Small. But a chance. Edwards still factors mightily I'm afraid and even though he will likely support Obama, I'm not sure that means much either. Gonna be interesting. Thanks for your insight and writing prowess, it's very refreshing....Peace.....T

Herb Urban said...

Well said. This kind of behavior one would expect out of Karl Rove, not a former POTUS. Democrats should not tolerate this kind of friendly fire. It once again proves the Clintons put themselves above country and party.

My wife and I were already in the
Obama camp well before South Carolina and we will enthusiastically caucus for him here in two weeks.

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