Wednesday, January 9, 2008

America Represents a Proctologist's Fantasy


In the somewhat recent past, a very popular patriotic phrase was in vogue. "America, love it or leave it." Seeing the official tally of the 2008 New Hampshire Primary results make the latter seem much more appealing than the former. I can't think of another place on earth where more people thrive and survive while deprived of much needed oxygen with a chaser of common sense. The process in which we elect candidates to lead us is so out of kilter, only an army of highly trained proctologists can extricate the majority of heads from the majority of asses that have taken over this country.

Since the year 2000, this country has been in steady decline. Eight years of the world's premier ignoramus as president alone could accomplish that. Now that we are in the seemingly endless process of choosing a successor, I am much more understanding of how 2000 happened in the first place. Rather than rehash what an illiterate buffoon is still occupying the White House, let's take a look at illiterate buffoons who are controlling our collective destiny as to who his replacement will be.

Ever since Bush was declared the winner of the 2004 presidential election, the cable news teams have been dedicating nearly seven day a week non-stop coverage to whom his successor will be. This is a great shortcoming of cable news.They are forced to stretch two hours of daily news into a 24 hour news cycle. You can almost see the relief on the talking heads' faces when thankfully a barn in Wyoming catches fire or a car chase on a Mississippi highway takes place. These are both excellent time wasting trivial matters providing it's not your barn or car involved. But the overwhelming coverage is being directed towards the 2008 presidential elections.

These talking head puppets are not content with merely reporting the news, they're much more determined to create it and then report as news what they've created. This 2008 election is a perfect illustration for my point. You simply can't take polls three or four times per day and claim you have insight into the electors' minds. If somebody called me on the phone or stopped me in the street to ask me who I was voting for, I would reply with a simple yet effective two word response. I won't say exactly what that response would be, but I can tell you the second word would be YOU! Then they hire a large contingent of political directors, political insiders, political consultants, political pundits and political spin doctors to come on and claim they know everything that you don't. They all offer their own brand of manure for your consumption. I learned years ago to never ask a senior citizen how they feel or remain with an earshot of a person who begins a sentence with: "if you want my opinion." The reason simply put is both will ramble on and one until hanging yourself from a tree branch or ramming your head into a brick wall seems like an appealing alternative.

Every time I turn on the news so far in 2008, I hear how the American people are going to vote and why. The people themselves aren't telling me this. So called political experts are. They're so bright, they're working for what amounts to little more than lunch money at cable news outlets and blogs such as this rather than having real jobs. They tell you the outcome of the elections until your head literally spins off its axis, because you've become so numb to them, you almost begin to believe them. Then and only then the actual election takes place and these simple minded sock puppets are dead wrong. Do they look the camera in the eye and acknowledge they're idiots? Of course they don't. They are stunned the public voted the wrong way. The public didn't pay attention. What's the deal with the public. Well it seems a great many members of the public can't formulate an actual determination of whom they want to lead them until they're poking their own chads. Some of them change their vote because a candidate cried, a fellow candidate was mean to them or to prove their independence by making the experts look stupid.

I've got news for Joe Public. The experts don't need your help looking stupid, that's the one thing they're actually experts about. I am one person with one vote. I may or may not use it when the time comes. I'm sure if I do vote, I will opt for the lesser of two evils. That sounds so cynical. But after endless attempts of trying to make sense of the senseless, being cynical and pessimistic is the most optimistic thing I can think of right now..........

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