Joke number two much like number one is disgusting without being dirty. I would never recommend you tell this joke to your mother or grandmothers, but everyone else should be able to digest it successfully so to speak, so here goes.
A one time regular patron at his neighborhood bar returned after a lengthy absence. This guy was revered there much like Norm Peterson was at Cheers. The bartender happily welcomes "Joe" back and asks his one time best customer where he's been lo these many weeks.
Joe sadly tells the barkeep he is no longer going to be consuming alcohol and just stopped by to wish everyone a fond farewell. The bartender, along with some of the other regulars, appear distraught and inquire as to why.
Joe explains the last time he was at the bar, he got way too drunk and ran into some tremendous difficulties. It seems on the way home, he drunkenly clipped another vehicle, crashed into his own garage door and got a severe lecture from his irate wife. She even threatened to leave her husband if he ever drank again.
But this was just the tip of the iceberg. The lovable lush finished off this unpleasant evening by "Blowing Chunks." The bartender said he was sorry to hear of his best patron's misfortune but in his opinion, giving up drinking all together was perhaps a wee bit too extreme.
The bartender told his buddy that we all had some minor mishaps when drinking and he would be happy to arrange for a designated driver in the future. As for "Blowing Chunks," that's not such a big deal, at one time or another, that's happened to all of us.
"You don't understand" the obviously embarrassed drunk confessed. You see, Chunks is my dog. Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrump Bump...........
A one time regular patron at his neighborhood bar returned after a lengthy absence. This guy was revered there much like Norm Peterson was at Cheers. The bartender happily welcomes "Joe" back and asks his one time best customer where he's been lo these many weeks.
Joe sadly tells the barkeep he is no longer going to be consuming alcohol and just stopped by to wish everyone a fond farewell. The bartender, along with some of the other regulars, appear distraught and inquire as to why.
Joe explains the last time he was at the bar, he got way too drunk and ran into some tremendous difficulties. It seems on the way home, he drunkenly clipped another vehicle, crashed into his own garage door and got a severe lecture from his irate wife. She even threatened to leave her husband if he ever drank again.
But this was just the tip of the iceberg. The lovable lush finished off this unpleasant evening by "Blowing Chunks." The bartender said he was sorry to hear of his best patron's misfortune but in his opinion, giving up drinking all together was perhaps a wee bit too extreme.
The bartender told his buddy that we all had some minor mishaps when drinking and he would be happy to arrange for a designated driver in the future. As for "Blowing Chunks," that's not such a big deal, at one time or another, that's happened to all of us.
"You don't understand" the obviously embarrassed drunk confessed. You see, Chunks is my dog. Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrump Bump...........
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