Rape, Whip and Imprison Me, I Asked For It

Welcome to Saudi Arabia, the birthplace of the all powerful, all merciful Mohammed. For you infidels among us, try to imagine a 19 year old female, any young unmarried female, sitting momentarily in an automobile wearing the latest in custom made designer fashion burqas with a dude. This 19 year old could be your sister, your daughter, your cousin, or even your friend and for attempting to retrieve a photo from a guy she considered her friend, she has just been kidnapped, driven to an isolated area, brutally gang raped by seven low life, pious, religious sons of Allah. What a violent, despicable heinous act this was. It doesn't get much worse than this. Wrong camel breath, this poor girl was just sentenced to six months in prison and ordered to receive 200 lashes with a whip for being raped and not being too happy about it.

What the hell did I just write? Did I write that this girl was gang raped by seven guys and, as a result, she is going to spend six months in prison as soon as the 200 lash whipping portion of her sentence has been fulfilled? Yeah, this isn't some evangelical wet dream, this is the law of the land in Saudi Arabia. The very same Saudi Arabia that produced 15 of the 19 terrorists that executed 9/11. The same Saudi Arabia that the Bush family has a hand holding relationship with. The same Saudi Arabia that financially supports the madras schools that teach innocent children to hate non-Muslims and provide them with valuable bomb making techniques. It seems the Shiite Muslim woman was convicted of violating Saudi Arabia's rigid Sharia Islamic law on segregation of the sexes. Did these people forget to to set their calendars to 2007 A.D. rather than B.C.?

HALLELUJAH and AMEN

The rape took place in 2006. The victim has said it occurred as she tried to retrieve her picture from a male high school student she used to know. While in a car with this student, two men comandered the vehicle and drove them to a secluded area. She said she was raped there by seven men, three of whom also attacked her friend. The rapists have all been caught and will receive up to 10 years in prison and a thousand lashes but because one of the rapists was married, the 19 year old victim was also guilty and convicted of having committed adultery. You would think this has to be a sick goof, but unbelievably it's not. The victim's lashes were actually increased from an original sentence of 90 hits to 200 because she had the nerve to complain. People in this country talk of building a security fence to keep illegal immigrants out. I think instead, we need to build a security fence around Saudi Arabia to keep those people in.

What can reasonable, intelligent people do to help end the hold over people's lives that religion has gripped? Instead of allowing religion to think for you, take responsibility and think about religion. These religions basically all began when people were convinced the world was flat, when natural disasters were caused by a supreme being's anger, when wars were fought because people lacked the communicative skills to negotiate, when basic understanding of other cultures was non-existent and when wealth and power were so restricted to a select few so that wars allowed the masses a diversion besides seething with anger when wondering why their lives were so bad off while their leaders were relieving themselves in golden, bejeweled bedpans. You know, pretty much like life remains in the USA today.

In its proper context, a little religion won't necessarily harm anybody. You want to wake up early on Saturday or Sunday and belt out a few tunes or listen to a pompous windbag pontificating on topics he neither understands or has personally experienced. You want a safe environment for your kids to be molested by priests in or you need a place to have a few pina coladas and play cash bingo on Las Vegas Night while being lectured on the evils of gambling and demon rum. Religion is your panacea. All I or anybody else who is willing to accept evolution as a scientific certainty asks, is that you keep it to yourself. Don't tell me your religion is the greatest. That often is code for somebody else's religion isn't. Don't kill people you don't know anything about except for the fact their religious beliefs don't jibe with yours. Don't not vote for Mitt Romney because he's a Mormon, don't vote for Mitt Romney because he's a moron. Do you really think Jesus, Mohammed or any other of these other god knuckleheads is going to resurrect himself and come back here? Of course not, would you? They're so embarrassed and mortified by the acts their disciples have performed in their name, they'd sooner go to hell. At least the inhabitants there don't claim the acts they committed were done in their favorite deity's name.......

Save Buckets

Now that the holiday shopping season is in full swing, dedicated shoppers just like you are looking for the best ways to buy great gifts at the lowest possible prices. Fortunately, a website like this now exists and it's called Save Buckets. Save Buckets, you see, is a website that will compare prices, which helps you find the best deals available on an extensive listing of gift options. Save Buckets does not sell any items. What they do, however, is search their comprehensive data base of shops for the sole purpose of locating for you the best possible prices. In addition to well known retailers and specialty shops, Save Buckets also searches lesser known online shops, which often provide better pricing for your product. As an added benefit, if there's a specific item you want but the best price offered is still above your budget, the My Price feature allows you to enter your email address along with the maximum price you are willing to spend. Save Buckets will then regularly check the price of that particular item across all represented vendors as they update their pricing and notify you right away if and when your product is available at your desired price or, in some cases, even a lower one. If after two weeks time this desired product has not met your price, Save Buckets will notify you via email with the lowest price available at that moment. Save Buckets is a remarkably valuable shopper's assistant, saving both your valuable time and money.

Hillary is Starting to Look Bushed!

Hillary Clinton is finally beginning to show the wear and tear often associated with a crumbling facade. The woman who would be king. The woman above the fray. The woman who was planning her very coronation during what should have been the arduous dog days of endless campaigning, is beginning to exude a certain desperation in between her self proclamations of invincibility. It seems Hillary's specific Achilles heel has been rediscovered and that heel be she.

One month ago, people were focusing on the more important aspects of life. Not the future of the United States mind you, but more essential interests such as what accessories they would need to complete the finishing touches on their Halloween costume. After all, the union has managed to survive for more than 230 years, but the 2007 version of Halloween only comes but once in a lifetime. As for our country, in recent years we have managed to withstand the first foreign attack on American soil since 1812, nearly seven years of George Bush, Dick Cheney, et al, O.J. Simpson once again being arrested on multiple serious felony charges and the average cost of a gallon of gas creeping ever closer to the $4 mark. We can't be worrying our collective pole dancing and pirate asses about a presidential election still a year away. Fortunately, a few people disagreed with that premise and not only noticed but began reporting about Hillary's slippage and now that holiday shopping is really the only competition, more and more voters are actually beginning to take notice as well.

The first crack occurred at the democratic presidential debate in Philadelphia on the night before Halloween. Hillary's democratic opponents finally realized that by not verbally attacking the front runner, it only made her aura of invincibility seem more prominent. So fellow democratic rivals Obama, Edwards, Biden and Dodd began slowly chipping away at Hillary. This was a major departure from previous strategies. They all assumed that if any male candidate was critical of Hillary, he would come across as a brutish man attacking a poor, defenseless woman. This is nonsense in a political campaign, but who in their right mind would claim most politicians were thoughtful and above reproach? Clearly this new tactic flustered Hillary, perhaps to the point where she made her first major gaffe of the campaign, when she appeared to support the right of illegal immigrants to be issued driver's licenses yet opposing this same right simultaneously.

CLEARLY HILLARY IS SUFFERING FROM CAFFEINE DEPRIVATION

Realizing she made a blunder, she did what almost all politicians do, she grossly overcompensated for the goof. She drew significantly more attention to it then would have been the case had she just issued a short release explaining exactly what she wanted people to believe. Then she should have droped the subject and subsequently ignored it. But she did the exact opposite. Hillary raced up to her all female alma mater in Massachusetts and, while surrounded by female students and faculty, claimed she was a poor defenseless woman being unfairly attacked for her gender. Hillary chose to completely ignore the fact that she was the leading candidate and therefore was being treated exactly like any man, including her husband, in the same circumstance. That backfired, so her current husband and former president decided to take his turn by chivalrously accepting the blame for her failed health care project early in his first term. Good try Bill. That works if your woman takes an extra hour selecting just the right pantsuit for a formal dinner thereby causing you to arrive late, but not for a tough candidate who wants to be president. Clearly the Backlash Express was beginning to pick up steam.

AHHHHH, DIVERSITY

I fully acknowledge this country has no shortage of imbeciles. You start at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue and splay outwards from there. There are a certain percentage of people who under NO circumstances would vote for a woman, an African-American, a Jew, a Mormon, a homosexual, an intellectual or a thoughtful, honest candidate opposed to Americans being permitted to own and discharge firearms anytime they feel the slightest bit threatened. I'm not talking to them. I'm talking to however many people remain. In just over a year, this country will have completed our collective sentence of having the worst president in U.S. history. Unless another catastrophic event takes place, we will soon be able to see the first glimmer of light at the end of the long dark tunnel we have been in. If we learned anything from the past seven years, it is that we must vigilantly avoid repeating a failure anywhere close to this again. I can honestly state I don't care what gender, skin color, religious or lack of religious background, sexual preference or what kind of company they would be drinking the proverbial beer with. I do care, however, how honest, bright, thoughtful, current as well as prior event savvy and courageous they are. Not the former military deserter willing to send others to their death kind of courage we see now, but the courage to think and talk rather than kill or be killed mentality we're choking on now.

I'm not completely certain that candidate exists, but I know with 100% certitude when it doesn't. Hillary Clinton is not a president. She wants to be president. She believes she should to be president. I'm convinced she's willing to tell you what you want to hear, tell me what I want to hear and then tell herself what she wants to hear kind of president. But a successful president must not only be the brightest person in the room, but must be willing to listen to those around her who aren't, even when their positions are 180 degrees different. Flunkies are easy to find, intelligent adversaries on your payroll aren't. Ultimately, all of humanity is our individual superior in that we may learn from them. George W. Bush believes he never made a mistake. Hillary Clinton believes that any mistakes she makes are magnified because of her gender. I believe we could have done much better in 2000 and because of that, we must do much better in 2008.......

Black Friday or is it Wack Friday?

Kill or be killed. Take no prisoners. Only the strong survive. When the going gets tough, the tough go shopping. Give no quarter. Show no mercy. Are you a man or a mouse? Hey lady, watch your cart, I only have two of these and I'm really fond of them both. It's Black Friday, damn it. I'm sure I've left out some of your favorite cliches but eight is my limit for one paragraph. I'm fascinated by the concept of "Door Buster Bargains" beginning at the same time respectable degenerates are first crawling home after a night of exhibiting their full arsenal of proper debauchery techniques.

People will take lawn chairs, hibachis, blankets and credit cards with them to camp out in heat, cold, rain, snow or sleet for days, in some cases, because they have allowed merchants and advertisers to manipulate them into thinking they're getting the deal of the century. They are drinking the kool-aid the retailers mixed up themselves in order to program them into believing that the more they spend, the more they save. They mass up at entrances like sheep to charge into the stores like the very dogs Pavlov himself trained.

I am not saying that a tenth of one percent of all these millions of participating shoppers throughout the country won't get a great deal, but everyone else will not. Simple mathematics dictates that when thousands of people are lined up at stores all over the country and maybe 25 or 50 incredible deals are available per store, most will not get the best advertised deal that the store promised. But you stayed up all night and waited in line anywhere from a few hours to a few days and, by God, you're not leaving that mall until you've bought a plethora of expensive crap you don't want or need. But you can't leave empty handed. You came determined to get a bargain, damn it, and whether said bargain is real or imagined, your not leaving until your mini van is packed from floor to ceiling.

This concept plays into a long held theory I've had that people will inconvenience themselves beyond belief if they think they're scoring a great deal. Erect a wicked big flashing neon sign stating you're giving away a valuable product completely free of charge in 24 hours. I'm convinced people, without even knowing what that valuable product specifically is, will attempt to out maneuver their own mothers in order to get their hands on anything that's flashing valuable and free in the same neon message. In my fantasy theory the valuable product would be East Indian elephant dung. You see, the circus was in town and the elephants contracted an intestinal ailment that tripled their normal output requiring circus honchos to dispose of the extra output. Apartment dwellers with only plastic ferns in their dinette area would ask for seconds if they thought they were getting a great deal. Not until they arrive back at their 550 square ft apartment does it dawn on them, "what the hell am I going to do with 20 pounds of parasitic East Indian elephant dung?"

WHO'S WORSE? THE PERSON WHO MADE OR BOUGHT THESE PANTS

Sit down and think for a second, geniuses. The odds are far greater you'll get hit by lightning or win the lottery than you'll get a great deal on a product you really want. Why do you think they call it BLACK FRIDAY? It's the day merchants turn a profit for the calendar year. They don't do this by giving consumers great deals. They do it by making consumers think they're getting great deals. Do the smart thing. Wait until you go back to work today, better known as CYBER MONDAY, and instead of working, spend the day surfing bargains on the internet. You don't have to camp out overnight, be herded against people who haven't showered for two days and be privy to unavoidably hearing people's cell phone conversations while you decide if you should kill them or yourself. Whatever you decide, you can do it all over again the day after Christmas when you take all the hideous crap you received as gifts back to the store to exchange them and get another deal of the century....

Baking and Basting Birdzilla - Stuff This!!!

Now that it's Thanksgiving Day, we're ready to prep and cook the actual turkey. Remember to remain focused on the task at hand. The sooner your guests have been fed,the sooner you can stampede them through the nearest door to their waiting vehicles.. Now, using that as your primary motivator, let's get to work, shall we?

Turkey
For the first time in modern history, my top secret turkey recipe is about to be released to the public. Gobble, gobble.

Ingredients: one (1) stick of butter, softened to room temperature, providing of course your room is not located in the north pole.
salt
tabasco sauce
paprika
black pepper
ground red pepper
garlic salt
onion powder
poultry seasoning
flour
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. First step is to remove all of the assorted bags of disgusting stuff crammed inside inside your turkey. Thoroughly rinse bird with cold water. Pat dry with clean paper towels. Liberally sprinkle salt inside the turkey's body cavity. With turkey on a large platter, thoroughly coat entire bird with the softened butter. Any excess butter can be placed inside the cavity. Season with tabasco sauce, paprika, garlic salt, onion powder, black pepper, ground red pepper and poultry seasoning. Sprinkle flour over top of turkey. Place turkey in a roasting pan and cover with a tent of aluminum foil. Bake your turkey for 22 minutes per pound. When there is 45 minutes remaining, remove the aluminum tent and baste your turkey with the pan juices. Broil for the final 5 to 10 minutes.

Gravy
Once the turkey is completely cooked, remove from the pan to cool. Leave only the juices behind. Pour pan juice into a measuring cup and let stand until fat separates. Pour 1/4 cup fat back into the roasting pan placed over two burners at medium heat. Discard remaining fat. Whisk in 1/4 cup flour. Add enough liquid (broth, wine, water) to the turkey juices to total 3 cups. Slowly add the juices into the flour mixture, stirring vigorously to blend well and avoid lumps. Bring mixture to a simmer, stirring constantly. Next, bring gravy to a boil, stirring until thickened. Season with salt and pepper to taste. Serve immediately.

Cranberry Almond Biscotti
Ingredients: 2 1/4 cups flour
1 cup sugar
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon nutmeg
2 eggs
2 egg whites
1 tablespoon vanilla or almond extract
1 1/4 cups sweetened dried cranberries
1/4 cup sliced almonds
Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Combine flour, sugar, baking powder, baking soda, cinnamon and nutmeg in a mixing bowl. Transfer to wax paper. In the same bowl, whisk together the eggs, egg whites and extract until just combined. Add the dry ingredients and, using an electric mixer on medium speed, mix until just moist. Add the cranberries and almonds and mix just to combine. On a floured surface, divide batter in half and pat each half into a log about 15 inches long and 1 1/2 inches in diameter. Place log on a baking sheet and bake for 30 minutes.
Remove from oven and reduce heat to 300 degrees. Using a thin bladed serrated knife, cut each log crosswise into 1/2 inch thick slices. Stand the slices upright on the baking sheet and bake another 20 minutes. Let cool and store in loosely covered container.

White Chocolate Cheesecake with Cranberry Swirl
Ingredients for Cranberry Swirl:
1 1/2 cups cranberries
3/4 cup orange juice
1/4 cup sugar
2 tablespoons cranberry or orange liqueur
1 tablespoon grated orange peel
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
Ingredients for Filling:
6 oz imported white chocolate. finely chopped
three 8 oz packages cream cheese, room temperature
3/4 cup sugar
4 large eggs

For cranberries - Combine all ingredients in heavy small saucepan. Simmer over medium heat until cranberries lose their shape and mixture thickens slightly, stirring occasionally, about 8 minutes. Transfer mixture to processor and blend until smooth. Strain. Cool.

For filling - Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Stir 6 oz white chocolate in top of double boiler over barely simmering water until melted and smooth. Cool slightly. Using electric mixer, beat cream cheese in large bowl until smooth. Mix in sugar. Beat in eggs 1 at a time, beating well after each addition. Gradually mix in white chocolate.

Pour half of filling into 9 inch diameter spring foam pan. Drop half of cranberry mixture atop filling by 2 tablespoons, spacing evenly. Use small sharp knife to swirl cranberry mixture into filling. Carefully pour remaining filling over. Drop remaining cranberries atop filling by 2 tablespoons, spacing evenly. Again, swirl cranberry mixture into filling. Bake cake until edges are puffed and golden, about 40 minutes. Cool on rack. Chill overnight.
Run small sharp knife around sides of pan to loosen cheesecake. Release pan sides. If desired, press white chocolate curls onto edges of cheesecake.

Now feel free to loosen your pants, say ahh a few times and for your grand finale, further deplete your planet's shrinking ozone layer with noxious fumes. Make sure you remain conscious. The following video selection shall demonstrate why........

HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYBODY

The Preparation - Prepare This!!!

NO, NOT THIS KIND OF PREPARATION!

As Thanksgiving Day draws ever closer, it's best to prepare as much of the festive feast ahead of time as possible in order to set aside as much alcoholic time as possible. That being said, once those beloved relatives start rolling in, with the kids hysterically screaming and the old fossils dredging up ancient grudges with promises to settle the score out back, the kitchen may be the only safe and peaceful place to be. Regardless, I still strongly recommend doing as much advance prep work as possible. Then, when the chaos begins, you can simply hide in the corner and smile catatonically as your liver and brain cells begin to degenerate.

Let the cooking begin.

Pumpkin Soup
Ingredients: three (3) 15 oz cans of pumpkin
4 1/2 cups chicken stock
1 to 2 tsp sugar, to taste
salt and pepper, to taste
1 cup plain yogurt
Put pumpkin in a large pot. Add sugar and a little salt and pepper. Pour in chicken stock. Cook for 20 minutes until soup is hot, adding water to thin, if necessary. Serve hot. Pass around yogurt in a bowl so your guests can stir in the amount they want.

Pumpkin Cranberry Bread
Ingredients: 3 cups all-purpose flour
1 tablespoon plus 2 teaspoons pumpkin pie spice
2 teaspoons baking soda
1 1/2 teaspoons salt
3 cups granulated sugar
1 15 oz can pumpkin
4 large eggs
1 cup vegetable oil
1/2 cup orange juice or water
1 cup sweetened dried, fresh or frozen cranberries
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease and flour two 9 x 5 inch loaf pans.
Combine flour, pumpkin pie spice, baking soda and salt in a large bowl. Combine sugar, pumpkin, eggs, vegetable oil and orange juice (or water) in a large mixer bowl. Beat until just blended. Add pumpkin mixture to flour mixture. Stir until just moistened. Fold in cranberries. Spoon batter into prepared loaf pans.
Bake for 60 to 65 minutes or until wooden pick pick inserted in center comes out clean. Cool in pans on wire racks for 10 minutes. Remove to wire racks to cool completely.

Cranberry Apple Stuffing
Ingredients: 1 tablespoon vegetable oil
1 medium tart apple, cored and diced
1 cup each of diced celery and diced onion
3/4 cup dried cranberries
14.5 oz can of chicken broth
2 six oz bags of seasoned stuffing
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. In a large skillet, sauté apple, celery, onion and cranberries in oil until onion is tender. In a large bowl, combine sautéed vegetables, broth and stuffing mix until well blended. Spoon stuffing mixture into a greased 13 x 9 x 2 inch baking pan. Cover and bake for 35 minutes.

Cranberry Sauce
Ingredients: 2 cups water
2 cups sugar
2 bags (12 oz each) fresh cranberries
1 bag (12-16 oz) frozen strawberries in syrup
2 cans (11 oz each) mandarin orange segments
1 can chunk pineapple
Bring water and sugar to a boil in a large saucepan. Add cranberries and return to a boil. Reduce heat and boil gently for 15 minutes. Cool completely to room temperature. Once cooled, add strawberries with syrup, mandarin orange sections (drained) and chunk pineapple (drained). Refrigerate until serving time.

Green Bean Casserole
Ingredients: 10 3/4 oz can condensed cream of mushroom soup
3/4 cup milk
1/8 teaspoon pepper
2 packages (9 oz each) frozen cut green beans, thawed
1 1/3 cups French's french fried onions
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. In a 1 1/2 quart casserole, combine soup, milk and pepper. Mix well. Stir in beans and 2/3 cup french fried onions. Bake for 30 minutes or until hot. Stir. Sprinkle with remaining 2/3 cup onion. Bake 5 minutes or until onions are golden.

Sweet Potato Casserole
Ingredients: 3 cups mashed or 1 (40 oz) can yams/cut sweet potatoes in syrup, drained and mashed
3/4 cup sugar
1/4 cup milk
2 large eggs, lightly beaten
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/4 teaspoon nutmeg
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1 cup butter, melted
1 cup chopped pecans
1 cup light brown sugar
1 cup self-rising flour
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease an 11 x 7 x 2 inch baking dish. In a bowl, combine the potatoes, sugar, milk, eggs, salt, vanilla, nutmeg, cinnamon and 1/2 cup melted butter. Stir well. Pour into prepared pan. In a small bowl, combine 1/2 cup butter, pecans, brown sugar and flour. Spread over potatoes. Bake 50 minutes or until a knife inserted in the center comes out clean.

Can't you just feel your arteries hardening. Tomorrow, we do turkey.

WITH A LITTLE HARD WORK & SOME GOOD FORTUNE,
YOUR TURKEY SHOULD LOOK JUST LIKE MINE!!!

Holy Tryptophan, It's Thanksgiving Already

It's once again time for Americans to celebrate how thankful we are for all the many gifts that have been bestowed upon us during the past 12 months. We do this in a number of different ways. First, by spending a dreadful day in an overcrowded airport wondering how much longer it will take for our overdue flight to depart while we contemplate how to best harm the child screaming in our ear that's sitting next to us and avoiding being seen by a nearby surveillance camera. If you happen to be a republican senator from out west, you substitute waiting in the concourse and instead spend time in a predetermined men's room meeting interesting fellow travelers in the adjoining stall. If your destination is closer, you may prefer to spend $3.50 per gallon of gas to drive bumper to bumper for 12 hours while threatening your kids as they too are screaming in your ear. A wonderfully crowded bus or train ride are also both viable options. Why do we put ourselves through this misery? The answer is elementary. To be able to spend a few days overeating, belching, expelling flatulence that will eventually kill Uncle Ned's parakeet, watching football and fantasizing about slashing our wrists just to be in the bosom of our family.

ACTUAL PHOTO OF MY UNCLE JOE FROM THANKSGIVING '2007

If you feel compelled to overeat, and my God it seems almost everyone does, I shall spend the next few days sharing some of my family's and my own favorite top secret holiday recipes. For the sake of full disclosure, I would never eat any of this crap, but most well adjusted and non-health conscious humans seem to scarf these delicacies down with the same indiscriminate appetite as a blood smelling great white shark.

Today I will list all the ingredients you need to stock up on from your local markets. Then on Tuesday and Wednesday, I will divulge the actual step by step preparatory directions for these closely guarded recipes that have been buried deep in my family's vault for as many as 1,000 years or is it 1,000 days? I'm not really sure and it doesn't really matter. Let's get started, shall we?

Pumpkin Soup:
three (3) 15 oz cans of pumpkin. chicken stock, sugar, salt, pepper, plain yogurt

Pumpkin Cranberry Bread:
flour, pumpkin pie spice, baking soda, salt, sugar, one (1) 15 oz can of pumpkin, eggs, vegetable oil, orange juice, sweetened dried, fresh or frozen cranberries

Turkey:
fresh or frozen, size to be determined based on number of guests

Gravy:
flour, broth, salt, pepper

Cranberry Apple Stuffing:
vegetable oil, tart apple, celery, onion, dried cranberries, chicken broth, two (2) 6 oz bags of seasoned stuffing

Cranberry Sauce:
fresh cranberries, sugar, canned chunk pineapple, canned mandarin orange segments, frozen strawberries in syrup

Sweet Potato Casserole:
one (1) 40 oz can of yams in syrup, sugar, milk, eggs, salt, vanilla extract, nutmeg, cinnamon, butter, chopped pecans, light brown sugar, flour

Green Bean Casserole (because everyone expects this one):
condensed cream of mushroom soup, milk, pepper, frozen cut green beans, French's french fried onions

Cranberry Almond Biscotti:
flour, sugar, baking powder, baking soda, cinnamon, nutmeg, eggs, vanilla or almond extract, sweetened dried cranberries, sliced almonds

White Chocolate Cheesecake with Cranberry Swirl:
cranberries, orange juice, sugar, cranberry or orange liquer, grated orange peel, cinnamon, white chocolate, cream cheese, eggs

Coffee, Tea, Milk, three cases of your favorite alcoholic beverage and a six pack of Pepto-Bismol